well, how about that?

So I'm at work and my Internet time (especially on a blogging site) is extremely limited, but I just thought I'd pass this along:

I am able to discuss, at great lengths, very important and soul-plunging topics over text message. And I think I've finally found a man who matches my ability.

This exchange occured around noon yesterday.

12.3.08
J: Someone just made my day ;) [he'd just received the CDs I sent him on Monday]
A: Who would that be?
J: This lovely lady I have in my life.
A: What about her?
J: She’s pretty much stealing my heart. [at this point a rather strong expletive escaped my mouth, I had to put the phone down face down and focus on my breathing for a while]
A: You probably shouldn’t say these things to this lady while she’s at work because it’s kind of hard to concentrate when your heart feels ready to jump out of your chest.
J: Ha! I’m sorry to distract her.
A: It’s the best distraction of my life.
J: Awww!

and then before I went into TJ's last night, I sent him this:
A: So I’ve got this gentleman friend…and during our first conversation he said I sounded like a Yankee. But he makes me laugh and he listens when I speak…And as each day passes I think about him more and more and pray that God guides my path. I've told God I’d be ok if our paths were to become one at some point.
J: He sounds like a good guy.
A: Good guy? Yeah. I think he’s something special.
J: Ah! As well as he might agree!
J: He just might think you are as well!

May your heart be warmed this chilly and dreary December day! And things I'm excited about: tonight is the Rebuilt Family Christmas in Athens. 6 of the 7 artists will be on stage together and that's something pretty special. I got a lot of TJ's goodies too for the "green room"/backstage area and I'm looking forward to that. Also, my dear friend from south of the city is joining me at church on Sunday and I'm looking forward to catching up with her. My trip to Maine is in 26 days and I can't wait! And Jeremy is planning on listening to Voddie on his way to a friend's this afternoon--he's about to be Santa in his friend's city's Christmas parade. Too cute. Seriously. Too cute.

Oh, and I got an opportunity to pray for him over text message today and it was wonderful (he's going through something really horrible at his church)--I'm glad that he shares these things and I'm glad to be able to pray!

to Voddie or not to Voddie...

I'm sorry to all of my loyal readers that aren't hopelessly sappy and romantic like I am...you might as well just stop here and go read The Onion or something, because I am totally a hopeless romantic and for the first time ever, I have an actual reciprocating object of my affection, and this is my blog, so I'm going to write about him. I hope you understand.

11.30.08 11:52 pm

November 6th is the day we exchanged phone numbers. We've spoken almost every day since then (and I include texting in that, because, well, I love texting and flirt texting is just plain fun). Tonight we spoke for an hour and it felt like a short conversation because we've had four hour discussions with no hesitation. Each day I awake thinking, "Is this guy for real? Did I really just have a four-hour phone conversation where I only had to do 50% of the talking?" And so I'm led to this point:

Let me tell you a little back story. Several years ago (I just tried to get a date by googling it, but no luck) I heard this four-part sermon series by a man named Voddie Baucham. I go to his website from time to time and I don't exactly agree with everything the man has to say, but this sermon series I heard several years ago, entitled Love and Marriage, has 100% rocked my world. Everything I thought I knew about relationships and marriage and love went out the window and I could not be more thankful to God for that. I was believing what the world was telling me, and clearly that model doesn't work, so I decided to follow what my heart was telling me was Truth and I was there, third row on the right at the singles Bible study with 3000 of my closest friends for four Tuesday nights, and because of those four hours, my life has been wonderfully changed.

If I haven't burned you this sermon series yet, I'm truly sorry, and I will totally do it upon your request. It's not just for singles. I know quite a few married couples that have benefited greatly from just changing their perspective.

So, on October 14 (a couple of weeks after I was matched online with Jeremy, and a couple of weeks after I had sent him the first round of communication and a couple of weeks after I still hadn't heard from him), I re-listened to Voddie's message and this is the email I sent to a couple of my fellow Voddie supporters:

So I finished listening to Voddie yesterday and he really spoke to my heart (again!)--well, I guess it was God speaking to my heart through Voddie, but whatever.

My point is, my search for just any man ("by the time she reaches 32 she's just looking for a man who knows where a church IS!") has definitely overshadowed the fact that I'm not actually looking for any man. I'm looking for the right man.

And these lines in particular stuck out yesterday enough for me to pause the track and type them out:

God delights in finding men who have pursued this picture so that He can say, "Yes, I can trust you with the illustration of the relationship of my Son and His church."

"God, I believe you have the BEST for me. And so there are certain baseline things about which I WILL NOT compromise. He must be a man who leads in love. He must be a man who leads in the word. He must be a man who leads in righteousness. He must be a man who leads in selflessness. He must be a man who leads in intimacy. He must be. If he's not all of these things, then I won't even MOVE to the discussion of further things. He must be these things because these are the things that you, God, have said that you desire to give to me!"

So my patience has been renewed, my hope restored, and my passion to really be who He calls me to be as a woman and possible wife has been rekindled.

--

Fast forward to this past week. My thoughts of Jeremy are turning more serious (I get it, it hasn't been a month yet, I totally understand how creepy and quick this is for most of you. but you've all known I'm not a normal girl and I don't do things in a normal fashion...and I'm praying every second of every day that I'm doing this God's way, that this is His idea, and so far I really think it is.) and before it gets more serious, I just feel like he (Jeremy) should know how I feel about marriage and love. How I feel about what I'm called to be as a wife and what I believe he's called to be as a husband.

I've chewed on the idea of sending Voddie to him. I asked my faithful Voddie friends what they think and I go two distinct answers. One was: slow down. things will happen in their own time. and the other: be who you are, Jeremy already digs what you've got going on, and if that includes Voddie, then so be it. So I heeded the first because at that exact moment I needed to be told to shut up, sit down, and take a deep breath. And now I'm heeding the second. After tonight's phone conversation (which included him telling me about his horrible day and my heart was warmed because I felt like what I was doing, listening, giving support, and being a sounding board, was fulfilling a part of what I'm meant to do.) I feel like he really is into me enough that he won't be taken aback by my sending of these CDs entitled Love and Marriage. With the sermon I'm sending the Rebuilt Records library because he asked for them--why did he ask for them? Because when I talk about Rebuilt, he said he wants to know what I'm talking about and he wants to be familiar with who I'm really into. I like that. I like that a lot.

So while writing this I've been burning CDs. I will then write a little note about all of the albums and most importantly about the sermon.

Cute thing of the evening:

So, the first week Jer (I haven't officially called him Jer yet, but, well, for writing's sake, it's easier than writing out Jeremy every time) and I were talking on the phone he went out on a limb and said he'd most likely be in Atlanta over New Year's for the Peach Bowl (he was thinking up until this past weekend that his team, Ole Miss (he's an alum), would be playing in it) and he so cutely and with bravado said, "Yeah, maybe we could go to the game together and hang out." I hated to rain on his parade, but I had to: I will be in Maine from December 27-January 3 (hip hip hooray!). So then last week I brought it up again seeing how long he'd be in town to see if our schedules would mesh. They won't, at least not over New Years, and we left it at: we'd figure something out. It was brought up that we could meet either in Nashville (where I have a wonderfully good friend) or Birmingham (where I have Rebuilt friends that I feel comfortable enough saying: "Hey, I'm meeting a guy I met on the internet for the first time this weekend here in B'ham. Can I crash with you guys? Can you make sure I stay alive? Do you have any suggestions on what we could do together here in town?") and I can be free on weekends and he works on weekends (being a youth pastor and all) and he's especially busy leading up to the holidays and so am I working retail.

Tonight, we were discussing football (football or Braves baseball is brought up at least once in every conversation) and he was trying to measure my sadness level that Georgia Tech beat Georgia this weekend. We then discussed Ole Miss' blow out (45-0) over Mississippi State on Friday (I totally earned Best Potential Girlfriend ever points by keeping up with the game, which he was at, and texting him the things I was learning). He then said that he might lose points with me by saying it, but he was kind of happy GA lost yesterday because that meant Ole Miss might go to the Capital One bowl in Miami or the one that's played somewhere in Texas. I forgot. Anyway, I asked what day the Capital One bowl was and he said Jan. 2...and I said (he's the cute part of this entirely too long story lead-in): "Good thing we didn't make plans for New Years then." Him: "No, if we had, I'd be in Atlanta watching it on the TV with you. Or better yet, I would have driven to Atlanta, picked you up, and we would have headed to Miami together."

No seriously. Adorable.

Ok. It's almost 1 am. I have a full week of work ahead of me. I'll try to blog more and I'll try (try) to not make everything about Jeremy. But seeing that as I'm experiencing at the age of 27 what most girls experience at the age of 15 or 16, I feel like I've earned the right to act like a 15 or 16-year-old over this one.

It's my blog, I can crush if I want to.

--Had Thanksgiving with my newly relationship-rekindled "aunt and uncle"--she's really my mom's cousin and her husband, but we don't know what exact relationship that is: first cousin once removed? second cousin? and it was wonderful. I've craved having a real blood-tie family my whole life and I'm finally feeling it and it's amazing. Also, my house is decorated for Christmas and it's heavenly. My mom's really into it this year and that makes my heart glad. And I've been listening to Sufjan Stevens' Songs For Christmas while I write this and it's amazing. His rendition of Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing blesses my heart every time I listen to it, for sure.

Happy December everyone!

seriously, there's no excuse

There really is no excuse for not blogging in over a month. None at all.

But thanks for not giving up on me!

I have a list of all the things I want to get all of you, my blogging public, caught up on...but right at this moment it's below freezing here in georgia, I'm still cold from coming in from work over an hour ago and there's only really a couple of things I want to talk about right now:

Mandi's birthday is Monday and her sweet boyfriend D came up with this elaborate scheme and a box from UPS labeled from her Secret Admirer that was filled with packing peanuts and really contained 2 itunes gift cards...so adorable. So happy (early) birthday Mandi!

Also, my mom and I went to my former best friends' wedding in October. I posted those photos on facebook. I tagged the bride. She un-tagged herself without writing why. And I got a thank-you card from them in the mail tonight. It's the most non-descript, non-personal thank you card in the history of thank you cards. And it only thanked us for part of our gift. So weird.

and before I go climb under the covers and get warm I want to officially announce: I've met someone. He's a real someone, like, he's not just one of my MANY crushes...he likes me back and everything. We met online and he's adorable. We've been talking a lot on the phone for the past two weeks...actually, we've been texting a lot too. we discussed last night about how our schedules could mesh so we can meet face-to-face. I'll definitely keep you updated. He makes me laugh continuously and he makes me blush because of his sweet and complimentary comments...it doesn't take a lot to knock my socks off because I don't have anything to compare him to! Praise God! So, let's just pray pray pray pray pray pray that above all, I'm walking in the Lord's way and that Jeremy (that's his name) is doing the same. The last thing I need and/or want is another unrequited love. Oh, he's 28, shaped like a fridge, and he's a youth pastor in mississippi.

not only have I been a bad blogger, but I've been a bad blog reader too. I'm sorry, friends. Work has got me on internet lock down and I generally just want to go to sleep or watch TV when I get home from TJ's. But I'll make a concerted effort to get caught up.

I'd love to hear from all of you! Happy November 21st!

"Rightsizing the Headcount"

Recently (as in, last Wednesday) my company let go 31 people all at once. They all had to walk out of the building together, through the front lobby, boxes in hand. We got a memo later that day from our CEO saying that this was the process of "rightsizing our headcount." Rightsizing. Not downsizing, but rightsizing.

Rightsizing tells these people that they were wrong for their positions and we are right for letting them go. Headcount tells us that we are just nameless and faceless employees, only identified by employee number; we are heads that must be counted. Not people with lives or feelings or attributes that help this company out.

Thankfully I still have a job. In this crazy economy that gets crazier by the day, for this job I am very grateful.

Two weeks ago our receptionist was rightsized. Now, she wasn't just a receptionist that answered phones (although that's a huge task in and of itself), she kept us organized around here. On a monthly average, we get 3,000 (yes, that's three thousand) faxes. We are a small office that handles ads from around the country. I've been advocating people just using PDFs and emails or better yet uploading their ads to a database on the internet for years, but that's neither here nor there. Our receptionist numbered, dated, and delivered every single one of those faxes every day. She handled the 50+ packages we get from UPS every day plus managed all the boxes we send out (the UPS guy is here every half hour. THAT's how much shipping we do.). She archived our old files, she cleaned out the archives every month. She handled our library and now she's been rightsized.

And as of today, my department is having to handle the faxes and four of the UPS pick-ups/drop offs. As if we don't already have enough to do. My friend and our department senior quit in pursuit of a better job and last Friday was her last day. We're already feeling the pinch because we're doing now with four people what the department used to do with six (the sixth person on our team got promoted to our supervisor). But I guess we're rightsized if rightsizing means just piling more and more on people's heads until we can barely breathe with all the responsibilities. I guess we're rightsized that none of us are likely to see raises or positive reviews because the company as a whole isn't doing well.

My friend, the senior of the department, did a lot for us as she was the senior. But now we're all splitting her duties. So now I'm doing the job of me (the recently demoted), I'm doing the job of the receptionist and I'm doing the job of our department senior. Wow. I can't even express my thoughts. But I will tell you this: I come in at 8 am. I take an hour lunch and I leave at 5 pm. I will not come in early; I will not take a short lunch and I definitely will not stay late. If we rack up hours over 40, we officially get overtime. But do we get to keep that overtime? Generally no. We're generally asked to leave early on Friday or whatever to eat at those extra hours. Am I going to sacrifice MY time to a company that doesn't care that I've been here 4 years and make 15 grand less than someone doing a similar job in another department? Am I going to sacrifice MY time to a company that only cares about how good THEY look in glossy magazines, flying around the country to conferences and parties and being written up in the paper while I have to stay here and have to fight to be able to leave early to go to a doctor's appointment? The answer, simply, is no.

I'm glad I have a job. It's a job I do well. But don't fault me for wanting to do the minimum. Doing the maximum means more stress, more people looking down their nose at you, and you leaving here every other Friday with the exact same paycheck.

Sure, this isn't the most Christ-like attitude I've ever had. But I've been worn down. I came into this job seeking and craving acceptance and responsibility. And that eagerness was broken by the corporate machine, however cliche that sounds.

But hey, at least today is Thursday and that means tomorrow is Casual Friday...so I can wear jeans with a non-graphic tee shirt. And these are the things I look forward to...

it's late and I get like this when it's late...

late nights and little sleep induce a depression in me that isn't there when it's daylight (mostly).

but I got to talk to my friend autumn about her new (it's official as of last night) boyfriend and my heart is glad.

and I've found some inspiration through my friend and yours Matt Wertz in his aptly named song, "I Will Not Take My Love Away."

I will not take my love away
When praises cease and seasons change
While the world turns the other way
I will not take my love away

I will not leave you all alone
When striving leads you far from home
And there's no yield for what you've sown
I will not leave you all alone

I will give you what you need
In plenty or in poverty
Forever, always, look to me
And I will give you what you need

I will not take my love away.

Epiphany

Epiphany:

I am 26 years old (27 in a month) and something just hit me:

If I find large, ahem, portly (ok, lumberjackish) men wildly attractive, then what is stopping someone from finding ME wildly attractive.

Answer: nothing.

Yes, this seems like a DUH kind of moment, but this has just not occurred to me.

On a similar note:
Our new full-timer at work is totally my "type" in the portly and funny department--but thankfully he's married and has a one-year-old son. Phew. That could have been dangerous. (Bep, he looks like Adam Todd...whom I about fell over the first time I met him. Thankfully he's married too, has a kid and lives in Nicaragua!)

I've discovered Terra Cotta has this friend. This friend is physically and ideologically perfect for me. Perfect. Beard. Big. Adorable. I'm currently trying all tactics possible to convince him he should be our Yenta. If he gets us together, I hereby declare Terra Cotta Sugarbaker gets to choose the bridesmaid dresses.

Man oh man. I'm a mess.

Irvin's a Republican. I'm ok with this information. He likes Obama, so that's nice.

just couldn't resist...

just too funny:





Oh look, Mary’s is hosting an Obama pep rally next Friday, September 19. Since the official Obama campaign started pulling ads and staff out of Georgia, it is now solely up to Mary’s Boys-4-Obama to keep Hope alive in our state.
I am telling you so far in advance so you can get your easily-removable patriotic costume ready for the strip-a-thon! (You are only eligible if you are a boy and 4 Obama, obviously.) This event might be a good opportunity for those of you assholes who STILL haven’t registered to vote* in Atlanta to do so.
And since First Lady is the campiest job in America held by a straight person, Mary’s is having you dress up as your favorite First Lady (or Head of State; boring). When I was trying to think of my favorite First Lady, I realized I LOVE THEM ALL! I’m guessing there will be a lot of Betty Fords and Jackie Kennedys, but I hope some people will be creative and go old school as Dolley Madison and Grace Coolidge. Also, Rosalynn Carter, duh, because she hangs out in Atlanta and is still a fox. Or Nancy Reagan and her psychic. Or Little Edie Beale, who was not a First Lady but close enough.
*Alternatively, you can download a voter registration application on the Secretary of State’s website and mail it in. SO EASY.

courtesy of: PecanneLog: Ladyblogging Atlanta

Paulo :)

I had to call TJ's a moment ago to tell Paulo something (someone really ticked me off and screwed up a project of training new employees he and I had set up last night...grrrr...) and he was all peppy on the phone. I told him what I needed to tell him, and then out of no where he asked how my Cotillion preperations were coming.

How cute. I like boys that remember details of my life and remember the things I get excited about.

That is all. Good day.

the house is a no-go...

So, I wasn't crazy, head-over-heels in love with the townhouse...and now we're not going to buy it. Something has come up (and for the first time in my life I don't actually feel like talking about it...) and we're going to wait a year to buy and renew our apartment lease.

Just thought I'd let you guys know. Thanks for the prayers! At this point, let's just hope we can get our earnest money back!


Oh, and about Irvin (we shall forever call him by his bowling name, Kojak): we "chatted" last night over Facebook's IM feature. I initiated the conversation...and it was just awkward. I realize that not everyone is an avid IM/email communicator like me, but still. And since we chatted (not for long and not about anything really interesting or important), I didn't get a response to my last email. And he was doing so well on his emailing!

Oh well. It's Friday and tomorrow is COTILLION! HIP HIP HOORAY! I called earlier this week and made an appointment for four manicures and three pedicures (because Terra Cotta Sugarbaker is too ticklish for a pedicure...how gay!)--and so myself, Madonna Elizabeth Bottomwood (Madge to her friends), Terra Cotta and Kevin (Terra Cotta's boyfriend) are all going together to get ourselves all dolled up and I'm so excited!

Another blog...begging for support!

Here is the copy of an email I sent out this morning:


Well friends, I need some help. It's been almost a year and a half and Bowl-A-Rama time is upon us again! This email is late in the coming, but I believe in you guys. If you love independent music, or just music in general, or you love me and you know how much I love music, then please donate! The lineup at Rebuilt has never been as strong as it is now and I really believe that these guys and gal are going places, and wouldn't you like to be in on the ground floor of supporting someone who just might be the next big thing*?

Last year I asked most of you for sponsorship and we as a team raised $14,000! Pretty good for a day of bowling if I do say so myself. Let's get the 3rd annual Bowl-A-Rama off to an even better start...


More Bowl-A-Rama info:

This year's Bowl-A-Rama is September 20th (virtually DAYS away...please help me reach my goal!) and it will again be in Athens, GA. This is an annual fund raiser for my friends over at Rebuilt Records, your friendly neighborhood non-profit record label. Rebuilt exists to record, promote, and develop artists of unique message, willful purpose, and spiritual maturity through programs and products that are spiritually significant, artistically excellent, and culturally relevant (imagine having to say THAT each time you answered the phone!).

I have agreed to bowl 100 frames, and risk the use of my right arm for a week after the tournament, to help raise money for Rebuilt again this year and have people (you!) sponsor me for each frame. My personal goal is $1000.

We as a team need to raise $18,000 to pay for things like: electricity, Internet, recording, studio time, mastering, CD printing, you know--stuff to make a record label work.

You can donate on a per frame basis (and the past two years I have successfully completed the 100 frame tourney), or you can just donate on a lump-sum basis and then you don't have to worry about multiplication tables and all that messy math stuff.

I've set up a blog specifically for Bowl-A-Rama. When you donate, I will gladly post a blog elegantly and eloquently describing how I know you and why I think you're terrific. Unless of course you don't want me to. I'll just post a "Thanks To Anonymous for their donation" blog :).

I know times are hard for everyone...but think how hard things are for traveling musicians! Also, I take credit cards! I have a PayPal account set up for this, but I'm currently in some communications with their tech people about why I can't get a button to work on the blog. So, for right this instant, I'm accepting cash and check, and if you'd like to do credit card, we can totally work with Rebuilt on accepting that. And please know you can just respond to this email with a pledge (that's all I'm looking for right this moment)--you can pay in installments (I'm sponsoring myself for $1 a frame and Rebuilt will be receiving several checks and/or wadded-up cash from me to equal $100), or you can pay when it's a little more convenient for you.

Rebuilt Records' Address:
PO BOX 5656
Athens, GA 30604

If you write a check, please put Bowl-A-Rama in the memo line along with my name.

When you email me your pledge, please also give me your full mailing address (these donations are tax deductible so we need to know where to send your receipt next tax season!).

Let me know if you need any more info and I look forward to working with you guys and blog-blog-blogging away!

Oh, and you're certainly welcome to pass this information along to whomever you please! Let's get this party started right (let's get this party started quick-ly).

I send my sincerest thanks in advance!

MUCH love,
Anna


*Gratuitous pandering to those who are fame-hanger-on-ers like myself.

Kojak

I mentioned the Bowl-A-Rama that I'm participating in later this month to Irvin...

And I quote:

If I'm available, I'm definitely down for bowling (my bowling name is Kojak) and
you might just have to show me the lay of the land for Atlanta miniature
golf courses.

Well, my bowling ball's name is Myrna (it's engraved, I can't make this stuff up), so I guess we're kind of even.

I love this.

hmmm

Irvin wants the link to my blog.

I think he'll have to earn that access right. I did send him a friendship request on facebook this evening though (at his urging! he sent me his link in an email!)

man, I gotta stop staying up until 1:30 EST. This is getting silly.

Steven's Must Haves/Can't Stands

he seems perfectly lovely...but he just seems, well, serious. and, well, I don't know.

here is his list. I'll post mine below his, just so you can see them.


Must Haves:
Intellect...... I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.
Spirituality...... I must have someone with a similar deep commitment to spirituality, who shares my beliefs.
Emotionally Healthy...... I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy, and able to share a stable life with someone else.
Tolerant...... I must have a partner who is able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.
Self-Confident...... I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself/herself throughout life's ups and downs.
Adaptability...... I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life's surprises.
Emotionally Generous...... I must have a partner who enjoys people and is generous with his or her compassion, attention, sympathies and love.
Exciting...... I must have someone who isn't afraid to take a risk and who sees life as an adventure.
Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.
Chemistry...... I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.

Can't Stands:
Gossip...... I can't stand someone who loves to talk about other people.
Dependence...... I can't stand someone who bases their happiness on me.
Materialistic...... I can't stand someone who sees material items as a measure of success.
Grudges...... I can't stand someone who has a chip on their shoulder.
Judgmental...... I can't stand someone who finds fault with everyone and everything.
Racist...... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.
Drugs...... I can't stand someone who uses illegal recreational drugs.
Self-Centered...... I can't stand someone whose main topic of conversation is himself/herself.
Mean Spirited...... I can't stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.
Intolerance...... While I understand that religious conviction is a positive trait, I can't stand someone who is self-righteous and feels that their particular faith is the only one that matters.

My list:
Must Haves:
Sense of Humor...... I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.
Artistry...... I must have a partner who has a passion for music, literature, drama, art, and the finer things in life either as a spectator or participant.
Relaxed...... I must have a partner who is able to forget about money and focus on the important parts of life.
Tolerant...... I must have a partner who is able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.
Communicator...... I must have someone who is good at talking and listening.
Spirit of Volunteerism...... I must have a partner who shares my willingness to volunteer and support community and/or social causes.
Emotionally Generous...... I must have a partner who enjoys people and is generous with his or her compassion, attention, sympathies and love.
Religious Practice...... My partner must be committed to being an active member of a church or temple congregation.
Patience...... I must have someone who can handle life's frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady, demeanor.
Strong Character...... I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.


Can't Stands:
Worrier...... I can't stand someone who easily loses perspective and constantly worries.
Anger...... I can't stand someone who can't manage their anger, who yells, or bottles it up inside.
Workaholic...... I can't stand someone who treats everything in life as secondary to their job.
Petty...... I can't stand someone who focuses on imperfection.
Extremely Shy...... I can't stand someone who is so shy that they cannot open up and share with me.
Undependable...... I can't stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.
Self-Centered...... I can't stand someone whose main topic of conversation is himself/herself.
Depressed...... I can't stand someone who is constantly unhappy about their life.
Infidelity...... I can't stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship.
Pessimism...... I can't stand someone who always sees the glass as half empty.

I've been remiss

thank you very much to Katie/Kate, whichever name she goes by today; I have been reminded that there are some loose ends.

First off, the Fridge that I met on the stairway either lives with his girlfriend on the third floor of my building or else he visits a lot. Either way, he's off limits and off my radar. Sad day.

Secondly, Piano Boy seems unaffected by my field trip to visit him playing jazz. I mean, it was a good night, it just happened to be a good "friend" night. Oh well, c'est la vie. I shan't really dwell on it--I'm definitely out of my phase of wanting boys that can't or won't be mine. I don't pine gracefully, that's for sure. He's a nice chap and if he's in town he's going to be my "date" to the only man I've ever loved's 38th birthday (oh my goodness! 38! wow!) that's being held at Turner Field for a Braves baseball game.

Thirdly, I have still not heard back from BC from eHarmony and also from my church. He's yet to worship with us again. I refuse to take responsibility for this disappearance; he had missed the two or three Sundays previous to my contacting him online. I have closed our communication on eHarmony and have effectively moved on. So sad, I know.

Fourthly, Steven, the one I copy/pasted his entire profile here, and I are still in communication. We're at level 3 of the 4-tiered process. He has sent me his list of must haves/can't stands. I read them last night and I don't know how I feel about them. I'm trying to be cautious and calm. I will probably send him my list this evening--or this week for sure.

Fifthly, here is the link to the townhouse we put an earnest money check and signed a contract on on Sunday...nothing's official, but it's definitely a possibility. I'm quite tired of renting, and however much I'd love to live in the city, I just can't afford somewhere safe...and I really like the city I'm living in now, so it's good. It's all good.

Sixthly, here is the cell phone picture of my actual picture of Paulo because I'm not at home and don't have access to my photo files right at the moment:

Kate/ie: sorry if it doesn't live up to the Xerxes picture I painted earlier. I apologize. :)

Irvin

that's his name. that's the name of my latest suitor.


And the wait for his next correspondence is decadently lovely.

that is all.

that's my Maine...

Now, I've been banned from a whole library system for not bringing books back (it's a fact. I can't ever get a library account in the town where I grew up again.) but it was only out of negligence, never out of prudishness.

Check this out.

It's political...if you're not into it, just skip!

Palin in Comparison

from Slog by ANTHONY HECHT

Karl Rove on picking a running mate:

"I think [Obama's] going to make an intensely political choice, not a governing choice," Rove said. "He's going to view this through the prism of a candidate, not through the prism of president; that is to say, he's going to pick somebody that he thinks will on the margin help him in a state like Indiana or Missouri or Virginia. He's not going to be thinking big and broad about the responsibilities of president." Rove singled out Virginia governor Tim Kaine, also a Face The Nation guest, as an example of such a pick.

"With all due respect again to Governor Kaine, he's been a governor for three years, he's been able but undistinguished," Rove said. "I don't think people could really name a big, important thing that he's done. He was mayor of the 105th largest city in America."

I wonder if Rove still feels this way. Somehow, I think he probably has a different take on VP qualifications now. Let's see...

[Palin's] a populist, she’s an economic and a social conservative, she’s a reformer, she took on the incumbent governor of the state Frank Murkowski — Republican — beat him in the primary, won an upset in the general election. She’s a former mayor. She’s the mayor of, I think, the second largest city in Alaska before she ran for governor.

Actually, Karl, she was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, population 8,000. At the time, not even one of the 10 biggest "cities" in Alaska.

via TPM, via Gruber, with an assist from Think Progress

(Sorry about the already-everywhere post title, had to use while it's still a little bit funny—for another 2 minutes or so.)

From a MoveOn.org email...they are generally more extreme than I care to align myself with or generally support (crazy, I know)...but I found this information interesting:

Yesterday was John McCain's 72nd birthday. If elected, he'd be the oldest president ever inaugurated. And after months of slamming Barack Obama for "inexperience," here's who John McCain has chosen to be one heartbeat away from the presidency: a right-wing religious conservative with no foreign policy experience, who until recently was mayor of a town of 9,000 people.

Huh?

Who is Sarah Palin? Here's some basic background:

• She was elected Alaska 's governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla, a small town outside Anchorage. She has no foreign policy experience.¹
  
• Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest.²
  
• She supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000. ³
  
• Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools.⁴
  
• She's doesn't think humans are the cause of climate change.⁵
  
• She's solidly in line with John McCain's "Big Oil first" energy policy. She's pushed hard for more oil drilling and says renewables won't be ready for years. She also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species—she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska.⁶
• How closely did John McCain vet this choice? He met Sarah Palin once at a meeting. They spoke a second time, last Sunday, when he called her about being vice-president. Then he offered her the position.⁷

This is information the American people need to see. Please take a moment to forward this email to your friends and family.

We also asked Alaska MoveOn members what the rest of us should know about their governor. The response was striking. Here's a sample:

She is really just a mayor from a small town outside Anchorage who has been a governor for only 1.5 years, and has ZERO national and international experience. I shudder to think that she could be the person taking that 3AM call on the White House hotline, and the one who could potentially be charged with leading the US in the volatile international scene that exists today. —Rose M., Fairbanks, AK

She is VERY, VERY conservative, and far from perfect. She's a hunter and fisherwoman, but votes against the environment again and again. She ran on ethics reform, but is currently under investigation for several charges involving hiring and firing of state officials. She has NO experience beyond Alaska. —Christine B., Denali Park, AK

As an Alaskan and a feminist, I am beyond words at this announcement. Palin is not a feminist, and she is not the reformer she claims to be. —Karen L., Anchorage, AK

Alaskans, collectively, are just as stunned as the rest of the nation. She is doing well running our State, but is totally inexperienced on the national level, and very much unequipped to run the nation, if it came to that. She is as far right as one can get, which has already been communicated on the news. In our office of thirty employees (dems, republicans, and nonpartisans), not one person feels she is ready for the V.P. position.—Sherry C., Anchorage, AK

She's vehemently anti-choice and doesn't care about protecting our natural resources, even though she has worked as a fisherman. McCain chose her to pick up the Hillary voters, but Palin is no Hillary. —Marina L., Juneau, AK

I think she's far too inexperienced to be in this position. I'm all for a woman in the White House, but not one who hasn't done anything to deserve it. There are far many other women who have worked their way up and have much more experience that would have been better choices. This is a patronizing decision on John McCain's part- and insulting to females everywhere that he would assume he'll get our vote by putting "A Woman" in that position.—Jennifer M., Anchorage, AK

So Governor Palin is a staunch anti-choice religious conservative. She's a global warming denier who shares John McCain's commitment to Big Oil. And she's dramatically inexperienced.

In picking Sarah Palin, John McCain has made the religious right very happy. And he's made a very dangerous decision for our country.

Sources:

1. "Sarah Palin," Wikipedia, Accessed August 29, 2008
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Palin

2. "McCain Selects Anti-Choice Sarah Palin as Running Mate," NARAL Pro-Choice America, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17515&id=13661-3262229-QARy2Ux&t=1

3. "Sarah Palin, Buchananite," The Nation, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17736&id=13661-3262229-QARy2Ux&t=2

4. "'Creation science' enters the race," Anchorage Daily News, October 27, 2006
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17737&id=13661-3262229-QARy2Ux&t=3

5. "Palin buys climate denial PR spin—ignores science," Huffington Post, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17517&id=13661-3262229-QARy2Ux&t=4

6. "McCain VP Pick Completes Shift to Bush Energy Policy," Sierra Club, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17518&id=13661-3262229-QARy2Ux&t=5

"Choice of Palin Promises Failed Energy Policies of the Past," League of Conservation Voters, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17519&id=13661-3262229-QARy2Ux&t=6

"Protecting polar bears gets in way of drilling for oil, says governor," The Times of London, May 23, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=17520&id=13661-3262229-QARy2Ux&t=7

7 "McCain met Palin once before yesterday," MSNBC, August 29, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=21119&id=13661-3262229-QARy2Ux&t=

it happened at 7:20 am, 8/27/08

I left my apartment early because I've been getting stuck in traffic the past couple of mornings (stupid schools!). So, at 7:20 am EST I was ready to leave. So I did. And the moment I opened my door I came FACE-TO-FACE with the most delicious Fridge speciman I have seen in person in a very long time!

Why was he at my door? Well, my door and the foot of the stairs are about 6 inches away from each other. This is the first time in my two years of residence I have ever almost-collided with a stair dweller/climber. And I certainly didn't mind it. Well, except that my hair was still completely wet and piled unattractively on top of my head and I was holding some papers with my lips.

Why he was coming in at 720 am EST in gym-ish clothes with his dry cleaning I'll probably never know...but another encounter with him I won't mind.


....ahhhhhhh.........

all is well

I just got a pep talk and a little revenge and all is well with the world again.



I can make it another day.

That is all.

my heart is too soft

I've finally figured it out: I'm too emotional, too fragile, too connected with needing reinforcement and positive feedback to work in corporate America.




...I try not to feel beat up when I'm criticized over and over. But I do. I feel attacked even though I know I'm doing the job I was hired to do. I've been stripped of every single responsibility I've ever had around here, and still I'm not good enough.


Makes for a long day.


At least there's a night ahead of me full of Paulo ;)

Oh, and when I get home tonight I need to write about my latest EH escapade.


Until then I shall be enjoying the new Okkervil River.

New Year's!

I've just made the decision: I'm heading to Maine for New Years!

Hooray!

I checked with my dear friends the J. Emlets and they are willing to host me (at least that's what I inferred through text message) and the airline prices are actually pretty decent---so I'm headed to Maine December 29-Jan 2nd!

There shall be some of this:


















And this:


















And of course this (if Bethany isn't too pregnant and let's us come over and hang out):


















And the most wonderful tradition of all, this:




















And he'll be a year older:


















And they'll be there cause they live there now!:


















And if we pray really hard, she'll be there too:


















And if we're lucky there will be this reunion:





















So, everyone and anyone: make your plans now! Let's go to Maine for New Years! We may have to have alternate NYE party plans, but that's ok. We're resourceful. Maybe we can host our own party down in the dining hall...Bethany, we'll set up and clean up after ourselves...we promise!

This idea has temporaily gotten me out of my perpetual job depression funk. Thanks guys!

Oh, and Iga, thanks for letting me come over and sit in your ultra-modern chairs. We should do it again some time.

Jason, apparently a crowd wants to come to Athens the next time I head out for the Carl Lundberg Jazz Trio night. It'll be fun!

Anyone up for traveling to Maine with me? It's readily apparent that there shan't be anyone "special" to travel with this year (perhaps ever. maybe it's best this way...now I don't have to ever throw out my ratty sleep shirt!)...so I might as well travel and spend as much time with friends as possible.

Ohp. Gotta get back to work.

Let me know! Have a great Monday afternoon!

Hello Lame, my name is Corporate Law

Just got out of a meeting. Topic of meeting?

If our published hours of work are 8-5 we cannot be at our desks before or after said time. Fine. The kicker: we cannot take our lunch breaks at our desks because when I'm in my cube, I'm technically "working."

No more eating lunch while watching things on Hulu or blogging (during lunch) or any other such actions. If I'm to eat here, I have to eat in the breakroom. With 200 of my closest friends. And two microwaves. And maybe 20 chairs. That should go really well, now shouldn't it?

I guess I'll just waste gas and go home every day. Or go out to eat. Or just sit in my car listening to podcasts. Awesome.

God bless corporate life.

uh oh

I find myself thinking of PB this morning...I might actually legitimately like him (I like to have frivilous crushes, as is obvious...but I don't like REAL crushes that often--they're heavy).

A text message conversation between myself and PB's brother-in-law G:
me: I've got to be in Athens tonight [ok, that wasn't totally true...but I was glad for a reason to go to Athens to see my friends I don't see nearly as much as I'd like]. Do you think PB would be totally creeped out if I showed up where he's playing jazz with my Rebuilt friend?
G: NOT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [there were a lot of exclamation points, this, however, is an approximation of how many there were] I think he would be really glad to see you! Tell him I said hello.
me (944 pm): He is enjoying my presence. SCORE!
G: told ya :)
me: yeah, there was a kiss on the head. a mouthed WOW when I walked up. All signs point to I'm in love ;)
G: best news I've heard all day


So, at least his sister's husband likes me.

delicious.

delicious:
--hanging out with jana and molly harwell
--getting to eat an organic and locally grown dinner with one of my favorite people on the planet, j. harwell
--half-price house wine
--jazz night...there was a breeze on this late summer evening. Piano Boy was a vision in jazz playing both the keys and trombone
--j. harwell left and I felt like I should be sitting in an old gretta garbo film, smoking cigarettes, looking on proudly as I wait for my man to whisk me away...it was dark, there was jazz that permeated my being, there were patio lights strewn about, and I just sat there drinking my wine relishing in the fact that I'm alive and that I'm done living in fear. I shall drive to surprise people at jazz nights. I shall do what it takes to live my utmost life.

It's 1:18 am EST. I could wax poetic, but for right this instant, I'll leave you this:

so this is what I've decided.

BC gets until this coming Saturday to answer my guided closed-ended questions on his own. I will then use the EH-sanctioned Nudge feature (nudging those that you've contacted reminding them of such and that they need to reply in some form or fashion). If he doesn't reply by the following weekend (Labor Day), I'm closing the communication and moving the junk on.

Three weeks is adequate time to decide if you'd like to tell me through an A, B, C, or D answer whether you'd rather eat at a fancy restaurant or a hole-in-the-wall. Seriously now.

This message has been approved by Terra Cotta Sugarbaker and I'm grateful for that.

Sunday Sunday Sunday!

I finally told G (Piano Boy's brother-in-law and my good friend), through a text message, that even though BC was a match for me on the computer, it's his brother-in-law that seriously turns my head.

We had a lovely and wonderful interaction last evening at church, PB and I, and I'm a'thinkin' that I will surprise him in Athens tomorrow night as he plays with his jazz trio. I need to get myself to Athens anyway to visit my dear Harwells, so why not visit with them AND stalk PB? I think it's a great idea. I'll keep you updated.

BC totally looked at my EH profile again yesterday...so he didn't come to church, but he definitely looked at my page!

Gotta get back to work. Just thought I'd give you a mini-update.

No seriously, I'm heading to Vegas...

...to elope with THIS guy:

The one thing Steven is most passionate about:

• I am passionate about foreign culture & travel, about people, and about God's grace & glory. I love to travel around the globe. I am fluent in Spanish, conversational in Arabic, & I speak enough French to embarrass myself. I love discovering the uniqueness of various cultures. I am an extrovert at heart & love being around people. I enjoy making people feel included and welcomed. God has shown me his grace over & over through His protection & providence. He is my strength & my portion, and my greatest passion is reflecting His glory among the nations.

The three things which Steven is most thankful for:

• My wonderful family & friends
  
• Opportunities I've had to travel all over the world
  
• God's grace & protection

The most influential person in Steven's life has been:

• Hmm... this is a hard one. I would say that rather than one individual I have been most influenced by a series of fellowships or communities: my summer Bible Study in high school, my BCM accountability group in college, the church staff I worked with as Student Pastor, my house-church overseas. It's the community, the composite of individuals through the leading of the Holy Spirit, that has most impacted my life decisions and has helped make me who I am today.

Steven's friends describe him as:

• Intelligent
• Spontaneous
• Passionate
• Spiritual

Three of Steven's best life-skills are:

• Remaining calm yet resilient during a crisis
• Making new friends
• Sharing my beliefs through teaching, participation, and example

The most important thing Steven is looking for in a person is:

• I'm looking for someone who has counted the cost of following Christ and is on an adventure with Him.

The first thing you'll probably notice about Steven when you meet him:

• Probably my laugh. My students make fun of me because I laugh too loud and too often, but I have found that good-natured laughter is the quickest way to put someone at ease. Living overseas I quickly learned that, even if there's a language barrier and you have no idea what the other person just said, if you can read the situation well enough to know when to laugh, you've made a close friend (even if he's making fun of you!)

The one thing Steven wishes MORE people would notice about him is:

• I don't really know...

Steven typically spends his leisure time:

• Since I can't afford to travel all the time, I love meeting new friends from around the world, learning about new languages & improving the languages I know.

The things Steven can't live without are:

• Laptop (My connection to the world)
• Cell phone (My connection to my friends & family)
• iPod (Music is my recharge)
• My books (Sadly, I like books more than reading!)
• A little bit of adventure in every day

The last book Steven read and enjoyed:

• I'm the kind of reader who has 4 or 5 books going at any given moment and switches haphazardly between them. I just finished a collection of short stories in Spanish. My favorite was "El primer milagro", the story of the Nativity told from the perspective of the stingy, dysfunctional family of the innkeeper. I'm currently almost finished with "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis. I love the keen sharpness with which Lewis gets to the heart of things. "A great many things have gone wrong with the world that God made and... God insists, and insists very loudly, on our putting them right again." Brilliant!

One thing that only Steven's best friends know is:

• How to make me blush.

Some additional information Steven wanted you to know is:

• I just returned from 2 1/2 years of studying Arabic while living in the Middle East (Lebanon & Jordan, not Iraq). And yes, I'm an AP Spanish teacher, so I speak 3 languages. I'm hoping to start my Masters in Applied Linguistics in the spring at Georgia State and then in a few years move back overseas... Where? Only God knows for now!

Oh! And he's totally cute. Awesome.

Thanks eHarmony :)

it really IS in the attitude!

Ok, so at some point right before I got to work this afternoon a peace fell over me...and a confidence I don't think I've ever felt seeped into my very being. And this is the outcome: I am no longer intimidated by my EH match to BC. Not at all. We're a match on all 29 personality points or whatever they're called. I am a catch. That's the long and the short of it. I shouldn't be intimidated by his good looks, his famous dad, his seeming intelligence or his possible wealth. I am worthy. There is nothing about me embarrassing or that should be hidden away. I'm tired of not feeling good enough.

If he's not game for our potential romance, then I shall move on and wait upon the Lord some more! This is a very freeing moment!

We all have things we need to work on and nothing is ever going to be perfect. There is never a time where I will say, "Finally, my junk is pulled together. Only now am I ready for someone else to enter my territory."

So, hopefully I'll see BC at church tomorrow night. If not, well, too bad. For him. I hope he's not shallow enough that he'll let my EH match and subsequent contact with him deter him from worshiping at our church. If he is, well, that's not a good sign at all.

When I just checked my email, I have eight new matches on EH and then a guy sent me an "email" just saying hello. Now, he's a BBM (beautiful black man)...but he's not a Christian. I'm going to email him back stating how that's a deal breaker...but it's the fact that there ARE men interested...I just haven't met the right one yet! (BEP! THE ONE, the one, the one, the one) Also, I have a yahoo personals account because that's the one that makes me laugh most often and I was sent a "You have new matches" email from them this evening as well. And I was matched with a true fridge/lumberjack and under his ideal body type for a woman: "A few extra pounds, Voluptuous." Bonus. He loves Jesus and I will be emailing him this evening as well.

It's amazing what a little self confidence will do to improve your outlook on life!

And in the immortal words of Stuart Smalley:

deep breathe...deep breaths...

Ok, so, well, ok. Must compose thoughts.

There is a feature on eHarmony that lets you see who has viewed your profile. I randomly clicked on that feature about 2.5 minutes ago.

BC has totally viewed my profile. As well as Marty (seriously. That's his name. Marty.) whom I also sent my questions to this morning.


I have yet to receive any communications back from these gentleman, but just seeing that BC had indeed looked at my profile just made the F word fly out of my mouth at a rather shrill decibel. Awesome. Way to go cube dweller!

Happy Friday afternoon everyone!

I will CERTAINLY keep you updated.

Two things...

I am currently overhearing a male coworker talking to someone about his nephew really enjoying the Olympics, especially gymnastics:
"Now he wants to do gymnastics. I'm thinking NO. His parents want him to do an inside sport this winter, and I can think of a few more things for him to do inside other than gymnastics. If he starts that, he might as well do BALLET. Sheesh."

So gross. Ugh. This guy creeps me out anyway, but from what I know he's mid- to late-40s and has gross personal hygiene habits and he certainly doesn't have a romantic life (I hear about those woes too). Ugh. Like HE has any place to say that someone shouldn't pursue something. Right, cause playing football when you were younger worked out for you buddy, sure.


Also, I was matched with a guy on eHarmony this morning and he lives like 60 miles from me now, but he said at the end of his profile that he's moving to Atlanta at the end of August. I'm only like 15-20 miles to Atlanta. He closed our communication because, "I think the physical distance between us is too great." Seriously?

Maybe he's hoping he'll find someone in his cul-de-sac or something. Weird.

Ugh. Lots of work to do today.

My prayers are with Kate's family on the passing of her (albeit curmudgeonly) grandmother.

RE: mind blown

I totally sent him (the guy I go to church with that I was also matched with on eHarmony) my list of closed ended questions (that's step two in the 10 step guided communication process). Not only do I know him, but I really liked what he had to say in his profile.

My questions to him are (there are like 30 questions to choose from, the A, B, C, D answers are already determined...I didn't write them):

1.
If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?
A. Stay close to my date, letting him/her introduce me
B. Find a spot at the back bar and relax alone, letting him/her work the room
C. Strike out on my own, introducing myself and making friends
D. I would ask my partner if I could skip this particular event

2. Which of the following marriage issues do you fear most?
A. Fear of growing apart
B. Fear of marrying the wrong person
C. Fear of becoming "your parents"
D. Fear of being hurt

3. If you went out to eat with a friend, which of the following would you prefer?
A. A nice 4-star restaurant
B. A basic steakhouse
C. An undiscovered hideaway
D. A hole in the wall with great food

4. If you could take a dream getaway, where would you most likely choose to spend a week?
A. Paris
B. Hawaii
C. Hiking in the mountains
D. A cottage by the sea

5. How important is it to you that your partner be accepted by your family and friends?
A. Very important
B. Important, I trust my family and friends but sometimes they are wrong
C. Slightly important, if they had a strong objection I might consider it
D. Not important at all, their opinions would not influence me

I also emailed him (through real email) and told him that he should let me know when he gets the eHarmony email--although I just said "I just sent you an email from a very specific website...let me know when you get it ;)"...so he can totally take it as a joke (which I mean) or he can take our match seriously (which I'm totally open to). It's a win-win situation.

I called the lady and my friend at our church that knows both of us and the news made her laugh until she cried, and then, like a thirteen-year-old girl she yelled, "CONTACT HIM!" She thinks this could be "the start of something beautiful!" So, we'll let him make the next move. She also prompted me to call our pastor (who's been my friend for 13 years)...so I left a very amusing voicemail for him as well.

Please feel free to answer those questions and leave them in the comments. Also, try to guess what answer I'm hoping for on each of them...it'll be fun. Like a game!

Ok. I actually have to get some work done today.

Oh, and this guy shall hereby be called BC. Good day.

the last one for today as my mind is officially blown

I live in Atlanta, GA (well, kind of). Atlanta is the core city of the ninth most populous metropolitan area in the United States at 5,278,904. That's five MILLION people. Five MILLION people in one CITY.

Ok. So let's say a little less than half that population is men. Great. 2 million men in the city. Out of two MILLLION men, my latest eHarmony match is someone who I totally go to church with on Sunday nights (there are only about 30 of us there)...and he's hot. And his dad is a local sports celebrity. I haven't read his profile yet because my mind is blown.

Wow. I'll keep you updated. I haven't decided if I should make this online move to contact him because that might make church a very weird experience. Maybe I'll play it safe and wait for him to say something.

Wow. Now I MUST go read his profile...

wow...that's a whopping bullet

Christopher from Peachtree City.

Wow.

I don't know if I can read the rest of the profile.

"The three things which Christopher is most thankful for:
Having Friends that love me and worry about me (great!)
Having Family that loves one another very much (that's cute!)
That i was able to have found true happiness prior to my girlfriend recently passing away. (SO SAD! Uh...what?! If she recently passed away, why are you on a dating site? Why is that the first thing you're telling potential mates/dates? I'm confused. Very confused.)"

When she is at the top of your dating profile...who can live in your dead girlfriend's shadow? Wow.

I did read the next thing down...also confusing:
"The most influential person in Christopher's life has been:
Stephanie, i call her my daughter even though she is only 5 years younger then I. we have gone through so much together. i can only hope that we will continue to support each other (by phone these days). "
Why does he call her his daughter?...

love on a different front

ok ok ok...I have recommitted to online dating. Not "committed" like I'm dedicating a lot of time to it, I'm just re-reviewing it as a possible avenue.

Well, when I graduated from college a friend (for whatever reason) bought me a year's subscription to eHarmony. You can't ever get deleted from their system no matter how hard you try, so the other day (due to a great story from my friend Autumn about the liberating things she's learned about herself and her new "friend" Bernard from eHarmony) I renewed my profile (with a coupon of course!) and I've decided that I will post any amusing/frightening/touching things/people/comments I come across while traversing the intraweb dating scene.

Today's funny comment from a guy named Kevin who works for the University of Alabama's football team:
"The last book Kevin read and enjoyed:
Game of Shadows. its a book that talks about steroids in sports. (i know, not the most romantic novel i could come up w/)"

I love that he thought to himself, "What's the last romantic novel I read?" and his answer was about steroids in sports. It just struck me as amusing.

The rest of his answers were cute and I will be allowing him the honor of getting to step two (out of ten...Dr. Neil Clark Warren a'int playin') in our communication process.

"Some additional information Kevin wanted you to know is:
I'm just an honest, kind, caring and funny guy. I may not be the best looking guy in the world, but I easily make up for it with my personality and my kindness."
--he's totally teddy bear adorable (which we all know is one of my top three types) and that phrase makes you go "Awwwww..." not "Why would he put himself down like that?" He's humble. And loves Jesus. And that's enough for me.

I love it.

I love love love love LOVE that a one Mr. Harwell (award-winning singer/songwriter and of Rebuilt Records fame) just called me to call me out for making out with Paulo.

I guess I forgot he reads my blog.


Ahahahahahaha. An excellent phone call, sir.

I know, I know...

Now that I have a computer and internet at home, I'm blogging less and less. I'm sorry, my friends!

My new/old position at work keeps me super busy--so not a lot of idle Internet time like the days of old.

I have a few things I'd like to discuss:
As you may or may not know already: I totally joined lips with dear Paulo last week at a work-sanctioned event. It was very nice and everything you'd expect out of our lips meeting. It shan't happen again (I've already discerned that he's not "the one" for me and because of that, I should probably not lead myself or him on. I know. So sad.).

My friend Sarah is back in the country after being in Guatemala for the past 2.5 years and that's super exciting! So, if you're considering joining the Peace Corps, well, she can talk to you about it.

On a selfish note, I know I should be compassionate at all times, but the person who said they no longer needed my help which resulted in my position being eliminated is close to drowning and has so many errors and problems on his hands that it's causing every other department a serious strain. I don't want to say "I told you so," but, well, I did. I'm sorry for him, but maybe next time people will actually listen to me regarding things I know about.

My dear friends Jen and Jonathan (and Carrie and Autumn) were in the newspaper! Congrats, guys! They'll be in Delaware and done with their ride on August 23rd. Pretty exciting stuff!

I will again be bowling for the Rebuilt Records Bowl-A-Rama that is being held in Athens, GA September 20th. I need to raise some serious cash by then, so don't think I won't be asking every one of you for some fundage...I'll be setting up a PayPal link to make it easier to donate. It's a fundraiser for Rebuilt as they are non-profit and gotta make some cash somehow...and since I believe in what they're doing and the music they're making and the things they're doing in the future, I've decided to bowl 100 frames (10 games) and get sponsored for each frame. More information coming soon.


I have more to say, but work beckons me. Maybe I'll write more when I get home from work. Tonight will be night 2 working with Paulo after the kiss action. Night 1 went very well indeed. There was some high-powered flirting, but that's about it. All-in-all, it's been an excellent outcome to what could be a perilous situation.

much love.

I'm a GENIUS!

Movie Reviews

"Take a few hours off work to "vote"--just nap in your car!"

hi-larious.

The U2 prank is the best.

and now for some funny improv...

and a commercial from England that copied the idea:

If I'm making today Controversial Day, here we go again:

This is from one of my favorite bloggers/appearer on NPR's of late: Dan Savage.

He's got a good point.

Make Sure the Next Woman You Meet Who’s Thinking About Voting for McCain…

posted by Dan Savage on August 1 at 10:40 AM

…reads this.

The Bush Administration has ignited a furor with a proposed definition of pregnancy that has the effect of classifying some of the most widely used methods of contraception as abortion.

A draft regulation, still being revised and debated, treats most birth-control pills and intrauterine devices as abortion because they can work by preventing fertilized eggs from implanting in the uterus. The regulation considers that destroying “the life of a human being.”

Many medical groups disagree. They hold that pregnancy isn’t established until several days after conception, when the fertilized egg has grown to a cluster of several dozen cells and burrowed into the uterine wall. Anything that disrupts that process, in their view, is contraception…. Dozens of Congressional Democrats—including presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama—have signed letters of protest blistering the proposal. His Republican rival, Sen. John McCain, declined to comment.

The goal of this proposed regulation? To make it harder for women to come by contraceptives. If standard methods of contraception are reclassified as abortion then laws crafted to allow pharmacists and other medical personal to “opt out” of providing treatments that violate their religious beliefs—morning-after pills, abortion referrals—would suddenly cover the pill and IUDs.

Helloooooo? Straight people? The GOP and the religious right don’t just hate the gays and gay freedom to host gay brunches, enter into gay marriages, and do gay adoptions. They hate your freedoms too.

NO seriously...this is ridiculous.

this guys is connected to focus on the family (argh!)...and I'm sorry to my conservative friends--but seriously, there are some of us who are vehement Jesus lovers that are actually Democrats. I believe in social services and feeding the hungry and accepting people where they are in life and trying to help. I believe in pro-choice (although I'm anti-abortion)--because the thought of scared teenage girls going to dark dirty "clinics" where they are presented with a coat hanger just doesn't appeal to me. And banning abortions isn't going to prevent unwanted pregnancies...I believe in informed decisions.

So, think what you want to think, but I think this is ridiculous:

you learn something new every day

I had never heard of trolls like this before.

Wow. It's a very interesting article, that's for sure.


I think these kids just need a hug.

Malwebolence from the New York Times.

it's 11:09 pm...what are YOU doing?

for the first time in over two years I have Internet in my own home! hooray!

oh, and I'm writing this from my new iMac...hooray!

it's a good Tuesday night.


now, since I've been so busy at work I need to shop online for my Cotillion dress for this year.

Chrysalis has been postponed until February because we didn't have enough applications on time, which I'm totally ok with. I was feeling rushed and things were out of control. It also means that I get to attend Cotillion, the biggest fundraiser for AID Atlanta of the year (AIDS education non-profit that my dear dear friend Jay, a debutante from last year, works for). I'm pretty jazzed.

Golden Girls...

It has been brought to my attention that I've been falling down on my blogging duties, so here are some updates:


I finally have pictures of Paulo. They aren't "candids," they're from a store "photo shoot"--if I can remember to get the camera out of my car, I will upload one or two.

I love the Robert Plant and Alison Krauss album "Raising Sand." I also love their set that I downloaded from this year's Bonnaroo. Just thought I'd let you know.

I also love this video, rest in peace Estelle Getty:



And on a serious note:

I was at church on Sunday night and our new associate pastor (she's young and she's African American...just what a church in downtown Atlanta that hopes to reach out to minorities of all kinds needs!) preached and she preached on the parable of the fig tree.

Luke 13:6-9 (New International Version)

6Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. 7So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?'

8" 'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. 9If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.' "

And she preached on how in our lives not doing anything is as much a sin as doing everything wrong...that when we don't bear fruit we are sucking out resources that are meant for good, yet not doing anything with them. And that's how I feel about my life right at this second. I'm here, but I need to be dug around. I need to be growing, I need to be growing fruit. There are some aspects of my life where things are going really well and I feel a closeness with the Lord. I love my church, I'm really enjoying being involved with Chrysalis again and the family that community is to me. I'm even enjoying furthering my friendships and relationships with those whom I do not live near. But the big inhibition to be bearing fruit: what am I really doing with my life? I work two jobs that aren't really furthering the kingdom. So that's where my prayer lies: that I can hear God's voice and really follow where He leads. I've been so busy just with "stuff" lately that I haven't taken any time to be still and KNOW.

And I know you guys have been wondering: I don't think I'm moving out of Atlanta any time soon. We sang "God of This City" at the end of worship Sunday and I started crying. For real crying because I just felt the tug on my heart to help those in this city...so for now, I'm staying put. Mainers, you're always in my dreams--but for right now, I just don't think it's right.

I'm also here for more prayers:
My lease is up September 15. My rent is going up considerably, and I'd prefer not to be in an apartment. I'm too young/inexperienced/single/not-enough-in-savings for a home loan. So I'm left with a lot of questions and not a whole lot of options. Oh, and did I mention my mom and I are a package deal. It's just a source for a lot of stress right now.

My job situation, of course.

The Chrysalis weekend. As of Saturday 7/26 at 8 pm we need 12 confirmed applicants for the weekend to be a "go." Right now, we have one confirmed application. And I'm mixed over how I feel--of course God can move mountains and he can get those applications in by the deadline. I'm just torn because I feel like a lot of stuff has been thrown together haphazardly because we haven't had adequate preparation time and I wouldn't mind the weekend being postponed so some more thorough planning can be done. Not my will Lord, but yours.

Oh, and on a happier note: Bowl-A-Rama 2008 is coming up on September 20 in Athens, GA!

Bowl-A-Rama is this thing Rebuilt Records does every year as a fundraiser. This will be my third year participating: I will bowl 100 frames and I need to raise $1000 to do it! Actually, this year I'm looking to top $1000 because I believe in Rebuilt and I believe in supporting independent musicians! Anyway, I will be writing much more on this later--but please pray for this function because most of Rebuilt's overhead costs are covered from this one event (Rebuilt needs to raise about $18K this year---last year we got $14K). If you're in the Atlanta metro area (or want to travel for the event!) please consider coming out to Athens that day and bowl with me! It's a team event this year and there are new rules and stuff--but I don't remember the specifics because I'm a moron and didn't listen that closely to Jason when we spoke on the phone. I do know that there are chances to win $250 gift cards to the Apple store. So that's fun. And if you can't join us and don't want to be your own bowler that raises his/her own $1000, then please consider contributing to my fund. I think I'm going to set up an online donation/give through PayPal kind of thing this year---it'll make it easier for the people that I don't see on a regular basis (AKA YOU guys!).

Ok, gotta actually get some work done this morning.

Fun in the midst...

So, as several of you may now know, I was called into my boss' office yesterday and told my current position has been eliminated. Awesome. I am being offered my old job back, with my friend as supervisor, so that's nice. At least I have a job, right?

This Chrysalis thing is sticky and it's pulling me down--but I know that's just Satan trying to sidetrack this amazing ministry--so my head's held high and we'll make it through.


I'm heading to Eddie's (birthplace for Shawn Mullins, Sugarland, John Mayer got his real start here) tonight for the private (sweet! I've finally made it! I'm cool! [eye roll at myself]) viewing of the TV show that was filmed there several months ago (I got to be a part of the "studio" audience. It pays to make famous bars your Cheers for two years. Seriously, Caryn and I were there like 3 or 4 times a week.)--I have some photos somewhere around here. No flash=blurry Shawn Mullins that's for sure. Go check out The Everybodyfields. They're deliciously depressing...the song "Lonely Anywhere" had us all in tears and I love it.
Shawn Mullins.

The everybodyfields.

Kitty Snyder.

My friend Troy and his band Telegram--they're great!


Do your part to help the world of independent musicians: buy Natalie Moon's new album, Short Stories of Epic Proportion. She's on Rebuilt's label and she's a super sweet girl--and I don't generally like female vocalists, but I do like her. And the CD design is enough to buy the album (way to go Jason).


Oh, and there's this FAILblog that LR turned me onto this week. And this video was posted. I've watched it about four or five times now. Brilliant. Enjoy.