for the first time in over two years I have Internet in my own home! hooray!
oh, and I'm writing this from my new iMac...hooray!
it's a good Tuesday night.
now, since I've been so busy at work I need to shop online for my Cotillion dress for this year.
Chrysalis has been postponed until February because we didn't have enough applications on time, which I'm totally ok with. I was feeling rushed and things were out of control. It also means that I get to attend Cotillion, the biggest fundraiser for AID Atlanta of the year (AIDS education non-profit that my dear dear friend Jay, a debutante from last year, works for). I'm pretty jazzed.
It has been brought to my attention that I've been falling down on my blogging duties, so here are some updates:
I finally have pictures of Paulo. They aren't "candids," they're from a store "photo shoot"--if I can remember to get the camera out of my car, I will upload one or two.
I love the Robert Plant and Alison Krauss album "Raising Sand." I also love their set that I downloaded from this year's Bonnaroo. Just thought I'd let you know.
I also love this video, rest in peace Estelle Getty:
And on a serious note:
I was at church on Sunday night and our new associate pastor (she's young and she's African American...just what a church in downtown Atlanta that hopes to reach out to minorities of all kinds needs!) preached and she preached on the parable of the fig tree.
Luke 13:6-9 (New International Version)
6Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. 7So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?'
8" 'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. 9If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.' "
And she preached on how in our lives not doing anything is as much a sin as doing everything wrong...that when we don't bear fruit we are sucking out resources that are meant for good, yet not doing anything with them. And that's how I feel about my life right at this second. I'm here, but I need to be dug around. I need to be growing, I need to be growing fruit. There are some aspects of my life where things are going really well and I feel a closeness with the Lord. I love my church, I'm really enjoying being involved with Chrysalis again and the family that community is to me. I'm even enjoying furthering my friendships and relationships with those whom I do not live near. But the big inhibition to be bearing fruit: what am I really doing with my life? I work two jobs that aren't really furthering the kingdom. So that's where my prayer lies: that I can hear God's voice and really follow where He leads. I've been so busy just with "stuff" lately that I haven't taken any time to be still and KNOW.
And I know you guys have been wondering: I don't think I'm moving out of Atlanta any time soon. We sang "God of This City" at the end of worship Sunday and I started crying. For real crying because I just felt the tug on my heart to help those in this city...so for now, I'm staying put. Mainers, you're always in my dreams--but for right now, I just don't think it's right.
I'm also here for more prayers: My lease is up September 15. My rent is going up considerably, and I'd prefer not to be in an apartment. I'm too young/inexperienced/single/not-enough-in-savings for a home loan. So I'm left with a lot of questions and not a whole lot of options. Oh, and did I mention my mom and I are a package deal. It's just a source for a lot of stress right now.
My job situation, of course.
The Chrysalis weekend. As of Saturday 7/26 at 8 pm we need 12 confirmed applicants for the weekend to be a "go." Right now, we have one confirmed application. And I'm mixed over how I feel--of course God can move mountains and he can get those applications in by the deadline. I'm just torn because I feel like a lot of stuff has been thrown together haphazardly because we haven't had adequate preparation time and I wouldn't mind the weekend being postponed so some more thorough planning can be done. Not my will Lord, but yours.
Oh, and on a happier note: Bowl-A-Rama 2008 is coming up on September 20 in Athens, GA!
Bowl-A-Rama is this thing Rebuilt Records does every year as a fundraiser. This will be my third year participating: I will bowl 100 frames and I need to raise $1000 to do it! Actually, this year I'm looking to top $1000 because I believe in Rebuilt and I believe in supporting independent musicians! Anyway, I will be writing much more on this later--but please pray for this function because most of Rebuilt's overhead costs are covered from this one event (Rebuilt needs to raise about $18K this year---last year we got $14K). If you're in the Atlanta metro area (or want to travel for the event!) please consider coming out to Athens that day and bowl with me! It's a team event this year and there are new rules and stuff--but I don't remember the specifics because I'm a moron and didn't listen that closely to Jason when we spoke on the phone. I do know that there are chances to win $250 gift cards to the Apple store. So that's fun. And if you can't join us and don't want to be your own bowler that raises his/her own $1000, then please consider contributing to my fund. I think I'm going to set up an online donation/give through PayPal kind of thing this year---it'll make it easier for the people that I don't see on a regular basis (AKA YOU guys!).
Ok, gotta actually get some work done this morning.
So, as several of you may now know, I was called into my boss' office yesterday and told my current position has been eliminated. Awesome. I am being offered my old job back, with my friend as supervisor, so that's nice. At least I have a job, right?
This Chrysalis thing is sticky and it's pulling me down--but I know that's just Satan trying to sidetrack this amazing ministry--so my head's held high and we'll make it through.
I'm heading to Eddie's (birthplace for Shawn Mullins, Sugarland, John Mayer got his real start here) tonight for the private (sweet! I've finally made it! I'm cool! [eye roll at myself]) viewing of the TV show that was filmed there several months ago (I got to be a part of the "studio" audience. It pays to make famous bars your Cheers for two years. Seriously, Caryn and I were there like 3 or 4 times a week.)--I have some photos somewhere around here. No flash=blurry Shawn Mullins that's for sure. Go check out The Everybodyfields. They're deliciously depressing...the song "Lonely Anywhere" had us all in tears and I love it. Shawn Mullins.
The everybodyfields.
Kitty Snyder.
My friend Troy and his band Telegram--they're great!
Do your part to help the world of independent musicians: buy Natalie Moon's new album, Short Stories of Epic Proportion. She's on Rebuilt's label and she's a super sweet girl--and I don't generally like female vocalists, but I do like her. And the CD design is enough to buy the album (way to go Jason).
Oh, and there's this FAILblog that LR turned me onto this week. And this video was posted. I've watched it about four or five times now. Brilliant. Enjoy.
My friend Loyal Reader (LR) just communicated to me when I commented that I had to work with Paulo tonight, "If he had hair, you'd collect it. Just admit it."
Eww, gross. I do have to work with him tonight. I'm back in our demo station all night--which means he'll be back there begging food off me. Oh well. I guess I'll play this one by ear.
And Bep and Chad and Brahm are starting their drive to Maine tomorrow night--hip hip hooray! They're moving back after a couple of years in Virginia so Chad could be in school. I'm so happy for them to move to Maine where both their families are.
I want to move to Maine.
But I also love Georgia. I love my Chrysalis people. I love my church.
And I love the fact that it's 455 and I'm going to go ahead and go so I can stop by the gas station before TJ's and get some coffee...I need to start going to bed before 130 in the morning!
Yesterday and today have marked some grossness...I wake up and yet I don't go exercise (too tired, it's a lame excuse, I know)--I think there's something wrong with my foot, I get a shower, I come to work, I'm starving, so I eat something and then about an hour later (about now) I feel absolutely wretched.
I'm so terribly sorry for being such a horrible blogger lately...I haven't had much to do at work lately and frankly, I work best under pressure.
So, no word from Hands on Atlanta. That makes me pretty sad. I also applied for a job in Maine last Wednesday and also, no word. I just don't know where to look anymore, you know? I've been reading a devotional that's all about God's purpose in our life and the adventure of it all, and although it's very encouraging, it's pretty frustrating too. I pray (and I mean) for God to reveal His plan...and last night at the altar at church I prayed that I really want to do whatever it is that God wants me to do. I'm physically and mentally tired from doing the things that I don't feel I should ultimately be doing professionally.
So, back to the end of June and Joe's wedding. It was lovely! I went up on Thursday afternoon, had Thursday dinner with the families (I am considered a sister/daughter now) and it was really nice. Cut to later that night, sitting at the kitchen table at the parsonage with the best man (which was supposed to be me, but the bride cut that idea down UNDERSTANDABLY SO), a groomsman, the groom, and myself--I'm like the unspoken groomsman. One of the groomsmen doesn't drink anything but diet cola, the groom and the best man, because of a covenant they made with their seminary, don't drink any alcoholic beverages. I haven't had anything alcoholic to drink in a very long time, so for the sake of the story and not getting anyone in trouble, I will just say I was the only one drinking heavily at that table that night. You can read into that statement what you will. I'll just post this:
Ok? (The prescription for tennis elbow honestly had nothing to do with the night of non-drinking. for serious.) Right, so we played UNO until 3 am when groomsman went to bed and best man (same age, 37, as Joe) just couldn't keep up with our non-drinking, so he went to bed too. And that's when IT happened. Joe and I had this tearful, touching, heart-warming, heart-to-heart. He might not remember it (because he was so tired, of course), and he even said at the time that we wouldn't remember it in the morning (I totally do...and based on how he remembers the first conversation we ever had almost seven years ago verbatim, he probably remembers it too)...but it was a conversation where he was concerned whether I was really ok with him getting married to someone else (I TOTALLY am)--he was being sweet but borderline cocky thinking that I couldn't actually get over him. But that's neither here nor there. I promised him that I was A-OK and that I was happy for him, that's all I've ever wanted for him: to be happy. And then he told me some things that I could totally understand if his-now-wife hated me forever for: apparently she and he had a sit-down where he told her that next to her, I'm the most important person in his life. That I will always be a part of his life--that he just doesn't want me to be there, he has to have me there. I am a need. He then told me of he and she's possible future children and I have to be a part of their lives--he couldn't handle it any other way. It was all very sweet but quite disconcerting: as I sit here, three weeks later, I'm pondering: why? why tell me these things in a night of (un)drunkenness? I'm totally over him and that's a fact, but those are the sweetest and nicest things that have ever been said to me in a quasi-romantic, not-my-family-or-girl-friends kind of way. They are the things I've longed to hear from him for years...and he's telling me on his wedding weekend. It was all very heartwarming. And there were many tears on both our parts. (Perhaps I'll post here the letter I wrote to him last August that spilled my heart...) I expressed then that his now wife must truly hate me...and he said she didn't, but it'd be nice for me to express my happiness for them and that I really am just like a sister to her. I said I'd write her a letter (I'm a letter writing expert, by the way)--but I've yet to do it.
We had a lovely time setting up and cooking for the rehearsal dinner, the wedding was gorgeous (albeit slightly offensive (to me because I'm strangely traditional in some ways) in the fact that part of the vows included GO DAWGS and ROLL TIDE). They were married, we had communion, and I got to spend lots of time with college friends.
Enjoy the pictures. And by the way: I am going to go ahead and blow my preacher's sermon of humility last night out of the water and say that I am very pleased with my look on the wedding day and the amount of cleavage. I know that's shallow, but it was something that I needed to do. I needed to show myself (and everyone who knows my whole Joe saga) that I was happy, healthy, and had moved on beautifully.
On to faux boyfriends 1, 2, and 3. They are numbered in order, not rank. And yes, there's a number 3 as of yesterday. Faux boyfriend 1 is Paulo whom I'll come to in a moment. Faux boyfriend 2 is PB. He has yet to return any emails. He's out on tour right now, so I get it. But it's still kind of sad because we really do have a connection. So much so someone that neither of us know commented on it a couple of weeks ago after church. Faux boyfriend 3 is also from church. He's the son of a local sports star. He's super cute. And nice, and tall, and has good teeth, and he's got a super technical and smart-person job. I'm a sucker for the nerdy types, it's true. But he's not conventionally nerdy--he's very much a sportsman that just happens to be really smart. He takes after his dad I suppose. Anyway, we had a nice conversation last night and I was about to ask him out to dinner with Jay and I, but before I could, he had to head to dinner plans with a friend of his. He's currently on the list, but we'll see. I'll wait another week to give him a nickname.
And on to Paulo. He's seriously off his rocker. And in my head, he's totally off the viable list, but I just can't seem to take him off because I'm still wildly attracted to him physically (what'd Voddie say, Bep? Something like, "You don't have to wonder if you're sexually compatible. YOU ARE."). Anyway, I totally don't respect him as a manager as he drops the ball A LOT, he seems to avoid taking responsibility and takes every opportunity to shine the light on himself. But he DOES make me laugh--a lot. He's a nice guy, just a bad manager. He's a nice work friend--oh, and he told me late last week that I make him happy and I'm the reason he enjoys coming to work. Now, I realize that Jesus should make him happy, but a compliment is a compliment and I'll take what I can get ;).
Last Friday night I walked into work and I was soaked by the time I got to the front door because of a massive storm...he was walking out so as to head home. We stopped in the doorway of TJ's and he said to me, straight faced, a serious tone of voice, looking straight into my eyes: "If I wouldn't lose my job, I'd kiss that adorable wet-from-the-rain grin right off your face." And before I could respond he just kept walking out to his car and left for the day.
WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? Seriously now. Seriously. We're having a special event involving the store on Wednesday night that he's in charge of and he left us ZERO details that we who are working the event need to know about--so I was prompted to call his cell phone from the store on Saturday by our first mate. He didn't answer. He didn't return my call. He's off today and I won't see him again until tomorrow. I think my plan of action is NO action. I don't really want to encourage his pursuit--I don't really want it (I just like having the crush, I don't want the reality of him and the trainwreck that is his hedonistic, no-Jesus life) and I don't want his job to be affected by it.
Gross. What a weird situation.
In other news, my Chrysalis weekend is in six weeks and things are a mess! But I know the Lord uses this time to teach me how to be humble and utterly dependent on Him. So I am and I'm so excited!
We're having a gathering of youth groups next Saturday for kids that have already gone through Chrysalis and then area youth groups and adults, etc and we're going to be doing one of these:
Let's talk about POWERFUL. I haven't decided what my cardboard is going to say yet. I'll let you know when I decide.
Hope you're all very well indeed...and let's pray for the kids that are going to be attending this Chrysalis weekend (we only have two confirmed girls, and we need ten more by two weeks from now and the boys flight is going on labor day weekend and they only have one confirmed boy right now and need eleven more), let's pray for Jen, Jonathan, Carrie, and Autumn as they've hit the 2000 mile mark on their cross-country cycling trip, Bep and Chad as they move from Virginia to Maine, let's say a little prayer of thanks for Shawna's successful move to DC this past weekend, my job search, my husband search (hey, I'm an honest kind of girl), and for all the things that are weighing each of our hearts down.
I know you're all dying to hear about Joe's wedding this weekend (a teaser: his mom told me, at the rehearsal, in front of people who may or may not have heard her: I wish he would have married you instead)...but I don't have the energy for that kind of recap right now.
But I do want to pass along some prayer points!
I sent out an email yesterday to my Chrysalis peeps (the spiritual retreat I'm in charge of in NINE weeks! wow!) asking for prayer: we only have one confirmed participant when we need 12 and I haven't been able to notify and fully form my team of about 50 volunteers yet. We just need prayers that the Lord will provide, as He has been since I've been involved in this since 1997, and that things will come together in a supernatural way.
And here's my other prayer point: I had an epiphany Sunday night. I heard a sermon on Luke 16:19-31--The Rich Man and Lazarus.
Lazarus is this poor man that is kept out of the Rich Man's property by a gate. The Rich Man knew his name (no relation to the Lazarus that was raised from the dead), yet did nothing to help him. The sermon was about what kind of gates we have in our lives, the gates of prejudice and the gates that prevent us from helping others. Enjoy this video of the song I sang in high school (this is by the Asbury College men's glee club) about Poor Man Lazarus. I love the fullness of the parable because Lazarus goes straight to heaven and the Rich Man goes straight to hell and their roles are then reversed--Rich Man is begging for some water and Lazarus is in the position to help.
Anyway, I really had this overwhelming feeling not only during the sermon, but when my pastor was discussing this week's mission opportunities and I can't make it to any of them because I'm always working. Is the work I'm doing making a difference? Sure, I love TJ's...but is that really the most I can do with my love-people spirit? My ache to help people to have a better life?
So first thing Monday morning I got online and went to my favorite non-profit job searching site (opportunityknocks.org) and put in my parameters and this job showed up:
Associate Director of Recruitment & Marketing
Join Hands On Atlanta, one of Atlanta’s most highly respected and recognized nonprofit organizations. As a member of Hands On Atlanta’s Communications Department you will play a vital role in strengthening our community; bringing Atlantans together to address our city’s most critical issues.
The Associate Director of Recruitment & Marketing is responsible for managing the organization’s volunteer recruitment, recognition and retention initiatives.
Responsibilities Recruitment: The goal includes recruiting 9,500 new members. The Associate Director of Recruitment & Marketing is responsible for creating long-term recruitment strategies and introducing innovative best practices into the organization’s recruitment and marketing initiatives.
Management: The Associate Director of Recruitment & Marketing is responsible for managing a team of staff members and interns who lead community outreach and recruitment, school-based recruitment for the Reading Adds Up program, National Service Recruitment (School-Based AmeriCorps, Community Action AmeriCorps, and VISTA), and volunteer relations, recognition and placement initiatives.
New Member Orientations: The Associate Director of Recruitment & Marketing is responsible for organizing all the new member orientations. Responsibilities include scheduling and managing all on- and off-site orientations, training staff and volunteers who participate in the orientation corps, and developing content and materials for orientation sessions.
Community Partnerships: The Associate Director of Recruitment & Marketing is responsible for developing long-term partnerships and recruitment plans with community organizations – collegiate, civic, faith-based groups, etc. Recruitment plan should also include strategies to increase participation from diverse populations, including ethnically and racially diverse groups, people with disabilities, seniors, families and youth.
Agency Special Events and Initiatives: The Associate Director of Recruitment & Marketing is involved in the development of all recruitment strategies for the organization’s special events and initiatives. This includes leading the organization to recruit volunteers for all major annual events such as 15,000+ volunteers for the annual Hands On Atlanta Day and 2000+ participants in the Martin Luther King, Jr. Service Summit.
Technology: The ability to manipulate computer software, especially database software and reporting functions in order to manage the organization’s volunteer database, accounts and project information.
Qualifications Bachelor’s degree At least 4 – 5 years demonstrated experience in nonprofit or corporate recruitment A proven track record demonstrating excellent volunteer management, communication skills- both written and verbal and time management skills Excellent computer skills- proficient with Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel and Access is necessary. A commitment to community service is necessary
Now, I don't fit every single qualification (I don't have 4-5 years of demonstrated experience in nonprofit or corporate recruitment)--but I do have an unmatchable passion for life, and if I do say so myself, an infectious spirit (now whether that's a malignant infection is up to you to decide). I brushed off my resume yesterday.
And I wrote this cover letter:
I’ve recently had an epiphany.
I’ve always felt the driving force from inside of me telling me that I just need to help people. I’m the kind of person that wants to make sure people are happy and that I can always find ways to make them laugh and feel appreciated. My current employment, the “day job”, is just a job I got right out of college. Sure, I get to interact with our clients that have accounts nationally, but at the end of the day, I work for the publishing company that publishes the Apartment Guide. We’re a free publication that is displayed at movie rental places and grocery stores. I admittedly now know more about tray ceilings, Jacuzzis®, lighted tennis courts and state-of-the-art fitness centers than I ever thought possible. I now know where Inland Empire and the Tidewater region are, all thanks to the Apartment Guide. But is my job of coordinating national accounts and advertising campaigns really making a difference? I realize that personal comportment and day-to-day interaction are a large part of making an imprint and living a legacy, but I want to take pride in knowing that I’m a small part of a whole that is making a difference, especially in the city in which I’ve grown up.
My “night job” just started out as a simple part-time job just to pass away some idle weekend time and have a little spending money. But my year and a half at Trader Joe’s has been life changing! I’ve learned a lot about myself and about where my strengths lie. I love the company and really admire their business practices, one of my favorites being that their number one corporate core value is integrity. It’s nice to be surrounded by people that believe in the work they do, believe in the product their selling, and they always “do the right thing.” This work environment is refreshing in a world of corporate step-or-be-stepped-upon ladder climbing. I never knew that selling groceries could be so fun and something I could so closely identify with. Trader Joe’s prides itself on being a part of the community, so I’ve really enjoyed going to local fairs, high school marching band competitions, and teacher appreciation days bearing donations. Lately, however, I’ve found myself wondering if selling groceries is really where I’m supposed to be. Sure, I do a good job there and am well-liked, but am I making the biggest impact possible by suggesting the sweet basil pesto chicken sausage goes really well in a cold pasta salad? I don’t know.
Here is where my epiphany lies and here is what I know: I am meant to help people. I love to talk to strangers, I laugh and smile with ease, and I take pride in knowing that my actions are improving the situations of those around me. I was sitting at church this past Sunday night and we were reading a story where a landowner kept a poor man outside of his property with a gate. The landowner knew the poor man’s name, yet refused to help him; he would just step over him to get onto his property. And I thought to myself, how many people am I stepping over instead of helping just because I’m too busy with my two jobs and social calendar? My church is in the heart of downtown Atlanta and service is the buzzword. Every Tuesday there is a meal prepared for Safe House or the Hospitality House. Every Saturday morning is Mission Morning where the members walk the streets with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just talking to people and caring for immediate needs. I’m never able to help because I work so much and that saddens me. Community service has always what has brought my heart the most joy and now I’m too busy with my “adult” jobs to help others. That’s where the epiphany comes in: I need to be working somewhere where my mission-minded heart can join hands with employment that supplies me with a means to live.
I logged onto OpportunityKnocks.org Monday morning and immediately saw the Hands On Atlanta posting for the Associate Director of Recruitment and Marketing. I immediately knew of the organization because my youth group in high school participated in quite a few of your events (I’ve painted a few school lunchrooms in my day, that’s for sure!).
I told a friend of the posting and how I wanted to apply, and she sent me an article this morning out of the AJC that was describing summer law interns and how they’re working through Hands On Atlanta as a part of their firm-courting process (pardon the pun).
I don’t believe in coincidences, so here I am writing this letter. I think I have the passion for people and hospitality needed to work with volunteers. I believe in volunteer work. I believe people serving others, regardless of personal faith or background, is the foundation on which a purpose-filled life and a life that matters is built. I was taught early on that I’m no better than anyone and that if I am able, I am to help those that are less fortunate just to show them a smiling face and perhaps a hope in tomorrow.
I’ve lived in Atlanta my whole life and have a lot of friends. I have friend-connections in all kinds fields—from faith-based groups, to lawyers, to stay-at-home mothers, to collegiate coaches and athletes. I’m active in the local music scene as well and could get really excited if my friendships meant aid for Hands On Atlanta to help this city that we all love to thrive.
I know my way around a computer (both Mac and PC), I am highly organized in an office setting (just don’t look in my garage!), and I have the kind of personality that makes people want to be involved in whatever I am doing.
I appreciate your time. I realize this is longer than an average cover letter, but community service and just helping people in general is something I am quite passionate about. I look forward to hearing from you and hopefully joining up with Hands On Atlanta!
Sincerely, Anna [L.]
So I just want your prayers that perhaps between us and God we'll figure out how to make my passions into my job.
