Outcome: NOT GOOD

So, me and Loyal Reader (LR) happily set off for TJ's to return some yogurt I had (this is my story at least) bought on Monday that was already out of code. The TRUTH is that yogurt has been in my work fridge for over a month--but come ON, people, I needed a half-way plausible reason for coming into TJ's during the day and not actually there to do any grocery shopping. So, we walked in, I walked to the front and held my yogurts out to Paulo with the dates showing with a puppy dog look. He didn't even make eye contact. He just nodded and then went back to the computer. Hmmph! How rude (I said that in my best Stephanie Tanner voice possible).

I walked back over to where LR was and he/she commented, "I thought there'd be more banter." Yeah, me too! So I go get my replacement yogurts, and then decide to buy my boss a plant. So LR and I are looking at the plants, and then I started chit-chatting with different TJ's coworkers...and it's official: Paulo wasn't hitting on all cylinders with everyone. Apparently he was rude to one of the cashiers earlier today (and when we were there he had only been at work like 45 minutes), he mumbled and wouldn't look our sample lady in the eye (and she's a saint and I love her!)...so obviously I asked one of the other full-timers (a woman, she understands) and all she said was that she noticed he was quiet.

I hope everything's ok. The girly caretaker/mother figure (thank you Dan Kane) in me is screaming to do something. To help in some way. So, the other night when I was wine steward we had a flirty discussion on music that's underappreciated as some quality AC/DC was piped in through our satellite radio--then Elton John came on. And out of no where he said, "Now THIS is a man that was underappreciated for his time. A visionary!" And he was totally serious. So I just found a live Elton John concert on CD--maybe I'll make him a copy. And I DO have a funny greeting card here at my desk. Perhaps I'll send it his way. I'll probably just put it in his cubbie (cause he totally has a cubbie) and let him find it when he finds it. Cause I'm smooth like that.

Now, I realize I jump before the starting gun goes off--but at this point in my life: I get it, I'm used to it, and I'm ok with it. I have a hard time NOT acting on compassion just for fear of rejection or it not being received well. So maybe it'll scare Paulo off and think I'm too intense, but if it makes his day better today, then I'm ok with that.

And so I said I would report back on what LR thought of Paulo. Obviously LR did not get a good reading because of the weird/bad mood--but LR is QUITE good at visualizing things and has come up with celebrities that Paulo favors. But before we get to photos, LR stated that he/she would like to get directly quoted, so here it is:

"In going with the appliance theme, you have deviated from your refrigerator type and gone with more of a water heater and I find that surprising."

Now, for those of you who don't know about The Fridge, it's a delightful way I categorized my romantic attractions. I like men who look like lumberjacks.



They look like they could eat woodland creatures without a bat of an eye. There are several variations on The Fridge--there's a musician fridge:


And many others. It generally has to do with the beard. Well, this is just a preference, I do find other people outside of The Fridge attractive--but The Fridge can always be counted on to turn my eye. Speaking of Fridge:


The guy in this photo is the manager of my local Chick-fil-A. You've probably heard me speak of him--he and I have had a couple of awkward years between us. It all started with me giving him my number, we talked on the phone a couple of times, and before we were set to go out, he texted me about how he's got some issues to work out before he can date again. Fine. I was supportive, I'm a supportive person. He was then set to go to a baseball game with me and my youth group I was working with at the time. He said he'd meet me at gate X and X time that afternoon to get his ticket from me. He never showed, no call. I got a call the next day saying sorry. Fine. Skip until October of 2006: I had only lived in my apartment (where I actually still live) like a month. My roommate and I were throwing a Project Runway season finale party. I was driving into my complex one afternoon and he drove in in front of me. So, I found out he lives like 500 feet from where I live. Cool. So, I texted him telling him that we're neighbors and inviting him to our party. He seemed pretty enthused. He was set to be there at 8. At 11 I got a text saying he had a family emergency. Right. At that point, I was over him and his lack of integrity. Fine. Well, a month or so ago I get out to my car in the morning and he was standing by my car and sheepishly asked if I could give him a jump. Fine. He's still ultimate Fridge, so I'm still kind of swoony around him. So we have a nice banter. Chit chat. He texts me several times over the next few days saying how much he appreciates my help. Cut to today: LR and I decided to head to CFA for lunch. It's just so good! Aforementioned Fridge gave me my refill at the end of the meal. He doesn't smile. Doesn't make eye contact. And I see he's wearing a wedding ring! AHAHAHA! What is THAT about? Integrity is LOST on this guy. LR and I have decided he and the missus are in the family way and CFA wouldn't allow him to father a child out of wedlock. But of course that's just us speculating and being rude ;).

Sorry for that interjection, on with the celebrity look-alike photos:




Hugh Jackman in The Fountain--and really, this is just to illustrate Paulo's baldness. He doesn't look this crazy. I mean, as far as I know he doesn't.



Paulo is built like Xerxes from 300. Hey, I can't help it. Good looking men flock to me.



Paulo, however, is not as feminine as this. Nothing wrong if he were, he just isn't.



So Paulo is about 6'2", but this is Luke Wilson in an interview. The complexion and shape are very close.

and here is the winningest pick from LR:

Luke Wilson in a lei. So appropriate given our company's penchant for all things Hawaiian:



So there you go. Here are some estimations of what Bad Mood Paulo looks like.

Now I need to get busy writing something witty and soothing in a card as well as making that Elton CD.

I wish you all a happy afternoon!