honesty

As you know, I crave honesty, warts and all.

This is a pretty new thing for me--I know, you may be surprised, but I used to be quite reserved about things that just shouldn't be talked about. I still am. I was at church a couple of weeks ago and was in a circle of people and they were talking about a church employee and how he's always so cranky and they all got a good laugh likening his moodiness to women's menstrual cycles. I didn't laugh. I barely smiled. I don't enjoy those jokes. I find them crass. Sue me.

However, I do enjoy people being honest about their real feelings about their real everyday goings on. My friend Kate has been gracious enough to let me read her invitation-only blog and she writes about the struggle of trying to have a baby while her husband's deployed and she's living back with her parents again.

I support a group called XXX Church. Yeah, their tagline: #1 Christian Porn Site. They are Christians being real and helping people with porn addictions and helping them be accountable. They don't cast stones or judgments, they just provide hope for people that are slowly being devoured and destroyed. I watched a video of theirs yesterday about a guy finally coming to terms with his addiction and he burned all his porn. That's courage. That's honesty. Also honest: I totally find the guy introducing the video adorable and attractive. He's got baggage? Sure. Me too.

And then a former coworker turned blogger extraordinaire wrote something this morning (in a totally different arena from infertility and porn) that made me appreciate him even more and laugh out loud all at the same time. Let's be real, people, and take the shiny coating off things. Let's tell people what's really going on and I think we'll find a lot less shame in this world, a whole lot more compassion, and people bringing what is in the dark out into the Light and finding peace and redemption.

Here is his blog (copied totally without his permission):
One of many title options, #1 Creepy Old Fart, #2 Sick and Illegal, #3 Shouldn’t Even Think About It…
…let alone WRITE about it. But this is my blog and what the hell?

When did I go from being the young, healthy buck with a “drive” (that’s what I’m using to describe me as a horny kid back in the day) to creepy old bastard that is trying not to stare at the 17 year old babysitter, let alone clear my head of the thoughts that can only get me in trouble.

Why am I even writing about this?

I don’t know where the age break is when I started to say…”SHE is 17? She looks 27!” That’s what I’d be telling the officer. I never used to say that line. I never thought twice about age. I just thought…”hot!” no matter her age…17 or 35. At some point I started marvelling at their age.

I guess it’s just me getting older, being married, having a kid and then my wife tutoring kids that often don’t look like kids.

I know I COULD write more on this topic, but the authorities will probably show up at the door. Instead the thoughts stay locked away in the dark chamber that is my twisted head.

I should delete this.

And here's my comment:
hey, it’s ok–I find myself being wildly attracted to a newly 18-year-old at my second job. seriously. high school senior.

I generally just have to walk away and shake my head at myself.

and it’s the hormones in the milk, I tell ya…makes these kids look 30 before they hit 18! ;)