| Down Under, Part One I'll be in Australia for a couple of weeks, hanging out with my friends from Small House Records. I'll also be doing my best to post a few blogs about the experience in the hopes you that, valued reader, will find these adventures interesting. I flew from Atlanta to LAX to Auckland, New Zealand, to Melbourne, Australia.
Here Are A Few Thoughts About My First Trans-Pacific Flight:
1. It's never a good sign when the captain comes on over the public address while you're still boarding and says incredulously, "Folks, we're expecting moderate turbulence for the first four hours of the flight." My heart sinks deeper at that point when realizing that period of time is only a third of my total flying time.
2. Sleeping is a luxury. I have come prepared for this one, with an inflatable neck pillow, eye mask, ear phones, ear plugs, a blanket, comfy shoes, and some over the counter meds that should put me to sleep. I have also downed a glass of the worst wine I've ever put in my mouth, at which point I remembered the wine was free and it all makes sense. But despite these efforts, it's really hard to sleep in an airplane chair; comfort really isn't the design aesthetic here; we're talking function, baby. But seriously, could we not get the folks from Herman Miller to design an airline chair that doesn't cause blood clots in your legs?
I did manage to snooze a bit here and there, but mostly I watched movies on my little television. The selection was pretty amazing, actually, and after scrolling through my options, I nearly screamed with glee as I noticed "Beverly Hills Cop" on there. And "Rattle & Hum." And since I was flying Air New Zealand, all three Lord of the Rings movies were available, which I seriously considered, but that was a kind of investment I was not prepared for. It would have covered most of my flight, though. But I did watch a few episodes of Flight of the Concords, you know, in honor of New Zealand. I also watched "Dan In Real Life" with Steve Carrell (good) and "Bee Movie" with Jerry Seinfeld (absolutely horrible).
3. Speaking of NZ, the airport looks a lot like ours accept it's cleaner and the people talk with cool accents. But rest assured Americans; I'm currently typing this at a table between a coffee shop and a Burger King, and NASCAR is playing on the television behind me. This is a picture of me having a mochaccino in the Auckland airport after my flight. Notice the slightly bewildered look in my eyes...
4. I'm kind of having a hard time typing this. I'm catching my final flight to Melbourne here in a few minutes, and while my mind is running at probably 85%, my motor skills are sucking pretty badly right now. I attribute this to the small amount of sleep I got on that last flight. It may also have something to do with the fact that I also played a ton of Tetris, which was also available to play on my little in-flight monitor. Dang, it took me a long time to type "in-flight monitor." Both times.
5. Finally, I can safely say now that time has stopped. I have no idea what time it is, what time it feels like, or what meal I should be looking forward to. I felt somewhere during the eleventh hour of the flight this Zen-like freedom from the bondage of times, dates, and calendars. I felt like I might fly forever. At some point, the boredom, crampiness, and endless selections of in-flight (dang!) entertainment safely removes all of your sensory perception, like that psychological experiment in which the subject puts half of a golf ball over each eye, forming little white domes to look into, robbing the subject of their visual perception. What happens then, you ask?
You get some Burger King in Auckland, NZ for breakfast while screaming at others to please observe a moment of silence "For Dale" with your three fingers hoisted high.
And then you get back on the plane. 6:14 PM |
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