ponders and panders

I guess I have a lot I want to say but don't necessarily have it all lumped together. I think bullets are the best way to go today:

• I got an email Friday afternoon from my dear friend Jason saying that he and I needed to talk. I knew what he wanted to talk about and I was all kinds of trepidatious like I was being sent to the principal's office. So I sent out an email asking for people (you know, YOU people) to pray because I feel like I'm on the cusp of something life changing and I just wanted you to pray for me hearing God's voice. Well, I got called into work on Friday night (which is cool...me flexing more of my You Can Have Confidence In Me muscles) and I didn't get a chance to call him. Then Saturday was Susan and Mathew's wedding and then I played hostess with the mostess for one of the bridesmaids Saturday afternoon (we went to the World of Coke--so touristy and cheesy and yummy and carbonated. It was terrific!) and then Sunday morning. So, I didn't get a chance to call Jason and we will all know why as I move to bullet #2.
• I went to church Sunday night and heard a sermon where my pastor literally was making eye contact with me 85% of the time. He apologized for it afterward, but I appreciated it. His message was based out of Luke 18: The parable of the persistent widow:

• Luke 18

  The Parable of the Persistent Widow

  1Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. 3And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'

  4"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, 5yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "

  6And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

• Right. So, I ended up talking to Jason for well over an hour yesterday and this is what I told him: I don't want to be a nag. I don't do it in real life and I certainly don't do it in my prayer life. I pray for something once or twice or every once and a while and I don't want to "bother" God again. Well, my mind has been changed. As Jimmy (my pastor) stated: Persistent prayer changes things. It couldn't be MUCH clearer: "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up." Not all of the parables have a key to tell us exactly what Jesus means. This one, however, he steps up to the plate and tells us exactly what he means. We are to always pray persistently and never give up. So, to answer all the career related questions: I've been give the red light. And that's not bad. It's a red light telling me to wait. I know things are in the works and I just need to pray persistently, never giving up and my request will be answered in His right time and His right way. Rebuilt is going to great places and I just need to wait. TJ's is going to great places and I just need to wait. So for right now I'm continuing in my holding pattern. God is good (all the time) and all the time (God is good).
  

• So, we're all honest friends here: I want to be married. It's true. Not to just anyone. I want to marry a Voddie-approved man (if you don't know Voddie, you let me know right this instant and I'll put the CDs of the sermon that changed my life in the mail right now!). I want a man that fits all of the requirements of a Godly husband and I'm not willing to compromise (hence me politely declining the "ride" I was offered at the gas station the other night...gross!). So I've decided to persistently pray about that too. And so I got this match this morning on one of my online dating sites. His name is Tim. He lives about 10 miles from me. He's 31. He's 5'9" (an inch taller than me). He drinks socially (I used to and may again). He doesn't smoke (gross, me either). He's got a post graduate education. He's self employed and his occupation is listed as Artistic/Musical/Writer. He likes voluptuous women (see Bep, I knew I'd find a Squishy admirer!). Never married. Doesn't have kids. Lives alone. He's a Christian and goes to church more than once a week. He likes the things I like. And here's the kicker of them all where I here God saying, "Finally. You've got the idea. Ask and you shall receive. But you've got to really ASK." Here's what he's written about himself:
  
  

  Hi, my name is Tim, and I am looking for a wife.I am looking for marriage, not just a date. I can't wait to share my heart, my love, with my wife. To express to her my love and affection--to her and her alone. I am searching for a woman who belongs firstly to Jesus. I’m looking for someone who is committed and sold out to Christ and who understands that she can love Him only because He loved us first, who truly believes that her salvation is dependent completely on what Christ did on the cross, and that the grace to live a life pleasing to Him can happen only through His power. I’m looking for someone who has a truly Biblical worldview, and a solid understanding of the Gospel and grace. When you are deeply in touch and in love with Christ, you can deeply love and be in tune with your mate because God's love is flowing through you.
  
  I am looking for a woman who wants to be attentive to the Holy Spirit in her life, who sees walking with God as a lot like dancing, where we need to trust that we will feel His gentle lead if we just remain in His arms and look to His face. I’m looking for someone who would go together with me into the Lord’s presence every night in prayer. I’m looking for someone who draws her strength from the Lord. I look forward to a relationship that is focused on God.

Now, I'm not saying he's The One (the one, the one, the one)...I'm just saying that God speaks, friends! He says, "You ask and I provide what you need. I will reveal myself to you when you are ready." There are some of you out there that could totally be freaked out by his online profile and I get that. But I'm not. I admire his honesty because I also am not looking for games or hookups. I'm serious (for once) and God just makes me smile sometimes.

• Paulo is in the doghouse. He going to have some major kissing up to do once he gets back from his vacation (tomorrow). He left three things undone that he said he was going to take care of (I don't like it when boys break their word) and so I had to deal with the fall-out of each of them. He's only been gone since Saturday--but things in the grocery business go really quickly and one day makes a huge difference. Oh, and apparently he's super touchy about his bad handwriting. And I understand that. I do not, however, understand why he gets super touchy when I'm just being honest and telling him I can't read what he's written. Maybe this vacation was good for him. And he found Jesus. And is ready to sweep me off my feet. We'll see. Anything's possible, right?

• Piano Boy was at church Sunday. And he played Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus whilst singing for the offertory. It was gorgeous. I love that song! I came into the sanctuary after he was already on stage b/c I was running a little bit behind. But afterward he came right over and gave me a big hug and was quite effusive with how glad he was to see me and I was all aflutter. We had dessert after the service and then we were talking outside (a group of us) and I casually asked if he got my email. He said yes, but he's a horrible corresponder. A group from church usually goes out after church (to a bar, DUH!) and I got invited to go--so I decided to. He had to bail that night, but you could tell he was reluctant to go home when he knew I was going to their hangout spot too...but he promised "Definitely next week." So I wrote him another email yesterday entitled: "Well now that I know you don't write back...I won't feel so bad." And I just said that, well, here's the whole thing:

Anyway, we missed you last week and it was lovely to see you again last night!

And thanks for playing Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus...it's one of my favorites.

I think everything gelled last night and I agree with Greg--it feels like we're a family. A wonderful and warm family.


Oh, and you were totally missed at the [the bar]. No seriously, it was a little bit ridiculous. One of Adam's friends had just gotten into a bar fight when we got there and so I (being the caretaker I am) got my first aid kit out of the car and Melissa had to try to help him with this huge gash (caused by a boot no less) on his forehead. Anyway, it was an interesting time of bar fights and Mitch trying to convince me of some interesting theology and it would have been nice to have you there too.


Well, our servers have been down all morning but they're back up now, so I guess I should get some work done. Silly corporate job...

Have a wonderful Monday and I'll catch you next week I suppose.


Peace, Anna

His response:

It's not that I don't write back, it's just that I'm a tad forgetgul, sometimes. Great to see you as well. I agree, there is something really cool going on at that church. I can't remember being as comfortable in my own skin as I am down there amonst such caring and loving folks such as yourself.

Shame I missed the craziness, that sounds like it was kind of fun in a weird sort of way. It would have been awesome it if broke out into a straight up western saloon brawl, with beards and hats and chairs hitting people over the backs and bottles breaking and stuff. It' s crazy to me that we are all down at A1, in this loving warm environment, and within minutes, we can be in a place where it's every man/woman for him/herself. Anywho, glad you could be of assistance.

Hope your monday has been fantastic so far, and I will look forward to seeing you soon.

Cheers!!!
[Piano Boy]

Points I like: he says Cheers, which is fun. He said Anywho and that makes me laugh. He thinks I'm caring and loving (that leads to loving the fact that I'm "squishy" right?). He wants to see me soon. And he likes to exaggerate--the part about the saloon brawl made me laugh out loud. If you don't know how I like to spin a yarn, go back to the letter I wrote Paulo about him killing his girlfriend and wearing her skin around the house.

I think that's all I have to say right now. Oh, and I'm totally praying for Kate to be pregnant (only nine more days until we can know!) and for Jen, Jonathan, and Carrie that are biking across the US for charity and their driver Autumn, and for the team selection meeting I'm having for my Chrysalis weekend this Thursday night. And I'm praying for my friend Greg that has hurt the people he loves the most and he's just looking for some forgiveness. And I'm praying for Rebuilt and Small House and what the future looks like and where I am in that picture.

OH! I almost forgot: Apparently the man I loved for six years and who is getting married in less than a month to someone other than myself (praise the Lord! He is indeed good!) assumed I'd be staying at his place for a couple of days before the wedding with the rest of "the guys". Wow. The rest of the guys. I guess some things just never change.