So, no word from Hands on Atlanta. That makes me pretty sad. I also applied for a job in Maine last Wednesday and also, no word. I just don't know where to look anymore, you know? I've been reading a devotional that's all about God's purpose in our life and the adventure of it all, and although it's very encouraging, it's pretty frustrating too. I pray (and I mean) for God to reveal His plan...and last night at the altar at church I prayed that I really want to do whatever it is that God wants me to do. I'm physically and mentally tired from doing the things that I don't feel I should ultimately be doing professionally.
So, back to the end of June and Joe's wedding. It was lovely! I went up on Thursday afternoon, had Thursday dinner with the families (I am considered a sister/daughter now) and it was really nice. Cut to later that night, sitting at the kitchen table at the parsonage with the best man (which was supposed to be me, but the bride cut that idea down UNDERSTANDABLY SO), a groomsman, the groom, and myself--I'm like the unspoken groomsman. One of the groomsmen doesn't drink anything but diet cola, the groom and the best man, because of a covenant they made with their seminary, don't drink any alcoholic beverages. I haven't had anything alcoholic to drink in a very long time, so for the sake of the story and not getting anyone in trouble, I will just say I was the only one drinking heavily at that table that night. You can read into that statement what you will. I'll just post this:
Ok? (The prescription for tennis elbow honestly had nothing to do with the night of non-drinking. for serious.) Right, so we played UNO until 3 am when groomsman went to bed and best man (same age, 37, as Joe) just couldn't keep up with our non-drinking, so he went to bed too. And that's when IT happened. Joe and I had this tearful, touching, heart-warming, heart-to-heart. He might not remember it (because he was so tired, of course), and he even said at the time that we wouldn't remember it in the morning (I totally do...and based on how he remembers the first conversation we ever had almost seven years ago verbatim, he probably remembers it too)...but it was a conversation where he was concerned whether I was really ok with him getting married to someone else (I TOTALLY am)--he was being sweet but borderline cocky thinking that I couldn't actually get over him. But that's neither here nor there. I promised him that I was A-OK and that I was happy for him, that's all I've ever wanted for him: to be happy. And then he told me some things that I could totally understand if his-now-wife hated me forever for: apparently she and he had a sit-down where he told her that next to her, I'm the most important person in his life. That I will always be a part of his life--that he just doesn't want me to be there, he has to have me there. I am a need. He then told me of he and she's possible future children and I have to be a part of their lives--he couldn't handle it any other way. It was all very sweet but quite disconcerting: as I sit here, three weeks later, I'm pondering: why? why tell me these things in a night of (un)drunkenness? I'm totally over him and that's a fact, but those are the sweetest and nicest things that have ever been said to me in a quasi-romantic, not-my-family-or-girl-friends kind of way. They are the things I've longed to hear from him for years...and he's telling me on his wedding weekend. It was all very heartwarming. And there were many tears on both our parts. (Perhaps I'll post here the letter I wrote to him last August that spilled my heart...) I expressed then that his now wife must truly hate me...and he said she didn't, but it'd be nice for me to express my happiness for them and that I really am just like a sister to her. I said I'd write her a letter (I'm a letter writing expert, by the way)--but I've yet to do it.
We had a lovely time setting up and cooking for the rehearsal dinner, the wedding was gorgeous (albeit slightly offensive (to me because I'm strangely traditional in some ways) in the fact that part of the vows included GO DAWGS and ROLL TIDE). They were married, we had communion, and I got to spend lots of time with college friends.
Enjoy the pictures. And by the way: I am going to go ahead and blow my preacher's sermon of humility last night out of the water and say that I am very pleased with my look on the wedding day and the amount of cleavage. I know that's shallow, but it was something that I needed to do. I needed to show myself (and everyone who knows my whole Joe saga) that I was happy, healthy, and had moved on beautifully.
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| Joe and Alana got married |
On to faux boyfriends 1, 2, and 3. They are numbered in order, not rank. And yes, there's a number 3 as of yesterday. Faux boyfriend 1 is Paulo whom I'll come to in a moment. Faux boyfriend 2 is PB. He has yet to return any emails. He's out on tour right now, so I get it. But it's still kind of sad because we really do have a connection. So much so someone that neither of us know commented on it a couple of weeks ago after church. Faux boyfriend 3 is also from church. He's the son of a local sports star. He's super cute. And nice, and tall, and has good teeth, and he's got a super technical and smart-person job. I'm a sucker for the nerdy types, it's true. But he's not conventionally nerdy--he's very much a sportsman that just happens to be really smart. He takes after his dad I suppose. Anyway, we had a nice conversation last night and I was about to ask him out to dinner with Jay and I, but before I could, he had to head to dinner plans with a friend of his. He's currently on the list, but we'll see. I'll wait another week to give him a nickname.
And on to Paulo. He's seriously off his rocker. And in my head, he's totally off the viable list, but I just can't seem to take him off because I'm still wildly attracted to him physically (what'd Voddie say, Bep? Something like, "You don't have to wonder if you're sexually compatible. YOU ARE."). Anyway, I totally don't respect him as a manager as he drops the ball A LOT, he seems to avoid taking responsibility and takes every opportunity to shine the light on himself. But he DOES make me laugh--a lot. He's a nice guy, just a bad manager. He's a nice work friend--oh, and he told me late last week that I make him happy and I'm the reason he enjoys coming to work. Now, I realize that Jesus should make him happy, but a compliment is a compliment and I'll take what I can get ;).
Last Friday night I walked into work and I was soaked by the time I got to the front door because of a massive storm...he was walking out so as to head home. We stopped in the doorway of TJ's and he said to me, straight faced, a serious tone of voice, looking straight into my eyes: "If I wouldn't lose my job, I'd kiss that adorable wet-from-the-rain grin right off your face." And before I could respond he just kept walking out to his car and left for the day.
WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? Seriously now. Seriously. We're having a special event involving the store on Wednesday night that he's in charge of and he left us ZERO details that we who are working the event need to know about--so I was prompted to call his cell phone from the store on Saturday by our first mate. He didn't answer. He didn't return my call. He's off today and I won't see him again until tomorrow. I think my plan of action is NO action. I don't really want to encourage his pursuit--I don't really want it (I just like having the crush, I don't want the reality of him and the trainwreck that is his hedonistic, no-Jesus life) and I don't want his job to be affected by it.
Gross. What a weird situation.
In other news, my Chrysalis weekend is in six weeks and things are a mess! But I know the Lord uses this time to teach me how to be humble and utterly dependent on Him. So I am and I'm so excited!
We're having a gathering of youth groups next Saturday for kids that have already gone through Chrysalis and then area youth groups and adults, etc and we're going to be doing one of these:
Let's talk about POWERFUL. I haven't decided what my cardboard is going to say yet. I'll let you know when I decide.
Hope you're all very well indeed...and let's pray for the kids that are going to be attending this Chrysalis weekend (we only have two confirmed girls, and we need ten more by two weeks from now and the boys flight is going on labor day weekend and they only have one confirmed boy right now and need eleven more), let's pray for Jen, Jonathan, Carrie, and Autumn as they've hit the 2000 mile mark on their cross-country cycling trip, Bep and Chad as they move from Virginia to Maine, let's say a little prayer of thanks for Shawna's successful move to DC this past weekend, my job search, my husband search (hey, I'm an honest kind of girl), and for all the things that are weighing each of our hearts down.
Have a terrific Monday!
1 comment:
I think Joe might be slightly off his rocker as well. I'll be honest, if Chad told me that there was another woman that he "needed" to have in his life, I'd probably hate her...unless of course she could write me an Anna-quality letter explaining the situation, that is. Actually even then I'd be kind of irritated.
That video made me cry, right here at my desk at work...
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